A
female
age
,
anonymous
writes:I am interested in a co worker very much but not sure if he is just being nice to me? We have gone to lunch a few times casually its just lunch and tea---- but he DOES go with me when I invite him. However its always my initiative.......I'm not sure if he's just being nice in the work place.....or what? Can you help me I am getting to the point I now want to tell him I like him but don't want to ruin the connection I have with him now. Meaning I can just go talk to him in his office and chat an see him anytime.......he says he doesn't mind and I am not bothering him as I have asked him this.....again what is that about?We have had cute fun actions in the office like giving funny birthday cards to one another and other little fun cute exchanges as well.I need some advise---a mans perspective would help.Signed: Cheers BDA
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female
reader, Lexie88  +, writes (22 November 2009):
 Sorry I'm not a man but here's my two cents.
You don't have to tell him you like him. What you should do is set up an opportunity for him to ask you out...to do something outside of work. When you go to lunch/tea and you're talking and so on, mention a movie you'd like to see, or a play, or something like that...say you don't have anyone to go with...see if he'll offer. Don't ask him, let him do it.
As for lunches. Don't ask him anymore, see if he notices and asks you.
You won't know anything by making the first moves all the time. Step back a bit and give him the chance to show you if he's interested in more.
How well do you know him? Could he be married, partnered?
The best thing to do is to back off and see if he'll come to you. Otherwise, you taking the initative all the time won't get you from where you are now.
Best of luck :)
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