A
male
age
26-29,
anonymous
writes:Hello, my girlfriend and I are both 16 and have been going out for 3 months. We've both decided were ready for intercourse but we have an issue.When we first got together I could only fit one finger inside of her, now I can fit two most of the time but sometimes it hurts and I have to stick with 1, as it's so tight and apparently painful for her.The thing is we're best friends and genuinely love each other and we can't wait to do this, but she's worried her vagina might get damaged, as it is this tight and I have a thick penis - a little less than 3 of my fingers in width - will this be a problem? What should we do to overcome this?Thanks in advance
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male
reader, anonymous, writes (13 March 2013): Thanks for the replies guys, you're probably right about that, I'm gonna talk to her and we'll arrange to leave it alone for a while. Thanks for all the advice
A
female
reader, anonymous, writes (13 March 2013): Ok this might be TMI for you but it makes my point well.I am 23 and have been sexually active for a few years with no issues. So everything is working fine. For the last 3 months, I have been trying to get a smear test done at my local doctors, and guess what? She can't do it. I won't open up even a little bit. I feel like I am relaxed and prepared for it, and I know I need to get the test because it's important to check for cancer, but I cannot do it. I am holding myself back because if I'm honest it just doesn't feel 'right' to me.This proves to you how much the mind can affect things like this. No matter what she says, she is NOT comfortable enough with you for sex.Her body is showing you that. It could be that she does feel ready and these feelings are subconscious, but either way she's not ready. Stop trying for now and wait until you have been together longer and have built up a deeper bond and it will happen no problem.
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A
female
reader, anonymous, writes (13 March 2013): Dude the vagina is built to give birth to a baby, so it should easily accommodate 2 fingers or a penis. The only reason it won't open up is if she is not as ready as she thinks she is I'm afraid, so you will need to hold off for the time being. For whatever reason (and there is a good chance she doesn't even realise she is doing it)She is not relaxing fully and it's causing her to tense her muscles down there. The problem is, if you keep trying it puts pressure on her and it can become a big deal psychologically and she could start psyching herself out (ie worrying it will happen, so she doesn't relax which leads to it happening again...). It's the same as with men - many can have problems getting an erection once, then become so worried about it it keeps happening because they are focusing on that and nothing else. I'd suggest you take sex off of the table for now, and focus on other things (oral, masturbation etc). The only way to overcome this is to take the pressure off her and there are lots of ways you can be intimate without full sex.
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A
male
reader, anonymous, writes (13 March 2013): Thanks for the advice but it doesn't really answer my question
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A
female
reader, anonymous, writes (13 March 2013): If a teen wants to listen to these speeches about such topics.. Good and if not, oh well. Some of us that are smart enough know how to abstain and say no to drugs and alcohol. The rest are typical teenagers who wanna experience it all. Let's leave that. We're 16 not 5! Get a grip. We know about such things at this age, it's our choice... Like I said some of us are smart and the rest... Dumb.
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A
female
reader, Makayla5893  +, writes (13 March 2013):
I think she needs to masturbate herself with a vibrator/dildo to loosen herself up a bit. Make sure she uses lots of lubricant so there is less friction. I think that although she might be 'turned on', perhaps she isn't relaxed with you... She needs to become comfortable with her own body before she lets someone else pleasure her. I suggest buying some sex toys online and seeing if this makes a difference. 16 is quite young and 3 months together is not a long time... Give it some time. When you do have sex make sure you use a condom too, there is nothing worse than bringing a child into the world when you're a teenager. Good luck!
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A
male
reader, anonymous, writes (12 March 2013): Thanks for the reply! We don't think being turned on is the issue because most of the time I get her soaking wet, but we stil have the same issues
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A
male
reader, anonymous, writes (12 March 2013): You are far from ready for intercourse.
As 16-year-old children you and your girlfriend are completely unprepared and totally incapable of raising the screeching, squalling kid you could possibly conceive any single time you bang her, even if you use protection (only method of birth control that's 100% effective is abstinence).
Smarten up.
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