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female
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*arley_quinn
writes: My boyfriend broke up with me back in January of this year. It is really a very long complicated story so I will try to sum it up as best I can. We had been together for 4 years. We were deeply in love and it was a first seriuos relationship for the both of us. We were long distance the first 2 years and then I decided to move to his state to be closer and I only lived there for a year because I had never moved so far and I became depressed and homesick. My depression ended up causing alot of stress between us. Once I moved back we continued to be long distance - which lasted another year. When we broke up he said that he fell out of love with me and did not think we were right for each other. He also said that he was no longer "infatuated" with me and that he can only be in a relationship if he has that feeling. If we were not "right" for each other then we would not have lasted 4 years, right? He told me that he wants to be single and experience other women. But he says he still loves me and considers me his soulmate? He's a struggling musician - go figure. He said that he does not want to be with just one woman the rest of his life. He says he still wants me as a best friend. I had not seen him in 3 months and his mother and I are very close and we both flew up to his city to visit with him. Well, we ended up having sex and the whole time I was up there he acted like we were together (holding my hand, putting his arm around me, kissing me, etc.) but he still only introduces me as his "friend." He says that right now he wants to focus on his own life and possibly date other women. Yet, he plans on moving to the same city (his home city as well) I live in and even says that it is possible for us to try the relationship out again. I find it hard to just be friends but I feel if I never talk to him again then we may never get back together. I feel by me being clingy and always telling him I miss him, etc. is only pushing him away. Any advice on what to do to get him back? Alot of people on here say to be more independent and not clingy, etc. We don't even live in the same city so basically I don't call him that much anymore. Any advice will help. Thank You.
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female
reader, anonymous, writes (24 September 2006): Simply leave him alone and get on with your own life. Don't chase after someone who does not feel the same way about you. You are worth much more, and he isn't the only man on the planet. You are young and have time to meet the right guy for you. Take your time an good luck.
A
female
reader, meowmixers +, writes (24 September 2006):
This may not get him back, but should make you a lot happier. DON'T TALK TO HIM. STOP!! Just stop talking to him, don't email him, don't call him, do nothing. The guy is an ass and he's dragging you with him. I have two books to suggest they are great and will help alot I promise. He's Just Not That Into You and It's Called A Breakup Because It's Broken. Excellent books you need to read them!
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A
female
reader, Toria +, writes (24 September 2006):
 Why would you want him back?
He is obviously using you and doing a good job of it, he doesn't want to be with just one person so are you prepared to share him?
It sounds to me like he is wanting other people and a few of them at that but also probably trying to keep you close incase he decides he does want you back or incase things don't work out elsewhere, even if he did get back with you how long would it be before he would want this kid of a break up again.
You need to think about yourself and try and move on, things happen for a reason and if something is mean't to be it will be.
Good luck :o)
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