A
female
age
30-35,
*rayon
writes:Basically I am very confused about how I really feel towards one of my closest friends - and whether or not she feels the same way. She's the most wonderful person, and I really don't want to hurt her. Recently things have changed between us ... She comes over to my house and we just lie in eachothers arms on my/her bed for hours at a time. Or we touch each others hands and hold one another tight.. And when we dance we dance closer than we should. The other day she said to me "I keep having dreams just about you - the only dreams I have involve you" -she said she didn't mean normal dreams, she meant sex dreams too. So me being tongue tied just said "oh okay that's fine"! But what was I supposed to say? I don't really know what to do because she's sending me all these different signals. I know I love her very much but I'm not sure if it's just as a friend or now something more, and I know I have more dreams involving her alone than anyone else.... Help!! Reply to this Question
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Fancy yourself as an agony aunt? Add your answer to this question! A
female
reader, anonymous, writes (12 April 2008): Ahaha, she's giving you mixed signals, huh?
I can't speak for all girls, but I can speak for myself, and as logical as I try to be about things like attraction, I realized I end up being confusing because I might be confused myself.
That sounds a lot like the situation I was in, except reversed, in that I was the one giving out mixed signals. It made my boyfriend- then friend- so confused it took him nearly a year to figure it out.
You might be right in thinking that it has changed between you two. She's probably as confused as you are, and that's probably why she's giving out mixed signals. Maybe she likes you but is hesitating because you might not feel the same way. Maybe she likes you but is calculating the pros and cons of going out with a friend and how that will affect your relationship.
Maybe you should straighten out your own feelings for her. When you do, and if you find those feelings romantic, you should just straight ask her out, and see how she reacts to it.
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