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writes: Hey everyone, I have read a couple of questions and answers about this subject but I would like to ask it anyway. I am currently studying at uni and am sharing a flat with someone who was my friend. The thing is I met my boyfriend about 5 weeks ago and my friend decided he did not like this. He was moody for days, he then told me he liked me more than a friend and that when it all went down hill. He said he would still like to be friends so I agreed, however a week ago he sent some nasty texts and told me we could no longer be friends because of my boyfriend, I guess. The friendship was how it was before he told me he loved me, i do not love him by the way, far from it, he does not have a very nice personality to start off with. Anyway I guess I need to know what to do, I live with him in the same flat (seperate bedrooms of course). I never want to be friends again because he has been so spiteful so how do i "respectfully" move on from the friendship while living so close?Sorry its so long and hope it makes sense.Thank you for reading this.
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reader, anonymous, writes (2 April 2008): This is verified as being by the original poster of the questionThank you both for your advive and opinion :) As to Lonelyttwo "Maybe if this was communicated before, you both wouldn't be in this boat now" i did say a year ago, when someone asked me if i and the friend were going out, that there was no chance, ever. He didn't listen, clearly.Thanks again you guys.
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reader, anonymous, writes (2 April 2008): Well he should at least realize that he should have been up front on how he felt from the beginning, at least when he realized he had these feelings. The old saying "snooze you loose" is what ha happened.
Understand that he is hurt that know you will be with another boy. I'm sure you can understand this if the tables were turned. I don't know how you feel about him, but if you believe you would have only wanted him as a friend and never as a boyfriend, you should gently tell him this. He may also believe that you should have noticed his behavior that he may have wanted your friendship to be more. You could tell him you noticed, but because of things he said contrary, that you didn't give it anymore thought. I also think that once people become a couple, both need to be cautious with the friends they have and make that one or both don't start seeing something other then a friendship.
It won't be hard moving on if you no longer want to be friends, and probably harder if you wanted to be friends. If what I mentioned above is true, that you never saw him beyond a friend, you should make this clear, and just say sorry. Maybe if this was communicated before, you both wouldn't be in this boat now. So to get out of this, and to clear your head, communication is neccesary.
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reader, anonymous, writes (2 April 2008): This is verified as being by the original poster of the questionThats the other problem, the contract is signed so i (or he) can't leave. He has asked already :( Also i can't/don't want to be friends with him after what he has done, would just blanking him work? I know that sounds harsh but he has had too many chances and im not giving him another one.
Thanks so much your your quick answer Renegade!
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reader, Renegade  +, writes (2 April 2008):
 He obviously have feelings for you which you do not share.
If you continue to share a flat,the friction between you both will only get worse.
Tell him you like him as a friend,but that is as far as it goes.
If he cannot accept that ,then it is time to find a new flat,or for him to do so.
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