A
female
age
30-35,
anonymous
writes:I have been with my boyfriend for 5 years, and we have been good friends for 7 years - we met in secondary school and have never been in a relationship with anybody else. I love him to bits.We have been really happy and are in love, but now that we're moving away to different universities next year, he has been acting really distant, and recently said that he wants to break up after the summer (we're going away on holiday together then!). His reasons are that he wants to see whether I am really The One and he also wants to try being single.He says that he still loves me as much as ever, and that this is not by any means a 'final' decision - he just needs to see what being single is like. My question is; should I just let this happen, and try not to think about it, like he tells me to, or to do something (although I don't know what)?
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female
reader, anonymous, writes (16 May 2007): Thanks for all the advice!
I'd decided to tell him that I was ok with us breaking up (thought most of my friends think I should split up with him NOW; no point waiting for summer) but he said that he'd thought about it some more and would like to give it long-distance a try. But I don't want him to have any regrets...so I lied and said that I want to break up after the summer!
Now I'm thinking that this might push him away - if he did realise he wanted me back later, he might think that I didn't want him back.
I think I'll tell him the real reason for wanting to split up, and just hope for the best.
A
male
reader, lupa-k +, writes (24 April 2007):
If you love someone set them free..... University really can be a very testing time for any relationships, as it totally changes the comfort zones to which you have become accustomed for the past five years... I do know relationships that survive, even thrive, such a test but they probably are not in the majority.
If he's saying he needs that and you push him into a different decision, you may get your way but it might well be given grudgingly, and resentment is not really the best thing to allow to seep into a relationship.
If he truely is the one, then give him the space, and dont forget that your own time at university might also change your own perspectives on love and relationships too
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A
female
reader, accused  +, writes (24 April 2007):
 My best advice for you is to let him go.... If he is being honest enough with you to let you know that he wants to see if you are the one, then let him do that.... Because if you try and stop him then he will always have it in the back of his head are you the one.... Trust me if you and your BF has the soul connection of love then he will return to you.... I have a best friend who was in this situation once and I gave her the same advice that I've just given you.. Except she didn't take it.. Instead she fought him over his decision... Needless to say they did get married but he cheated on her and eventually they ended up in a divorce.... If she would have let him have his freedom to see if she was the one then she might of been spared a heart ache... The hardest thing in the world is to let someone we love go , but if this man returns to you then you will foreve know "YOU WERE THE ONE".... I wish you the best.... keep me posted......
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A
male
reader, anonymous, writes (24 April 2007): If he loves you then distance shouldn't be an issue
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