A
female
age
36-40,
anonymous
writes:Can long distance Relationships work? (236 miles apart)
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male
reader, anonymous, writes (9 January 2009): I'm not going to be rash and yell out yes or no... instead I'm going to provide you with my insight and chew away at what I tell you however you see fit.------------------I seem to be drawn to long distance relationships. My last relationship was about 900 miles away. We met and started that way and never spent any time living in the same city. It started off great. I got to see her often and we both enjoyed it. However, it didn't last long before I realized it wasn't going to work out... I lost interest in her quickly. However, was this do to the distance? Probably not. It was more due to the fact that I realized I more just wanted a GF than actually wanting a partner. I also blame part of it on the fact that we never spent time in the same city together.This leads me into my current relationship. We found each other in the same city and started off our relationship as any normal couple would. However, a few months in she moved to another country. I am still with her to this day and the time we have been together while she has been outside the country has now surpassed the length of time we had inside the same city. We are still going strong, although the distance does take a toll. It makes it hard to build up little things couples living inside a same city get to build up... among many other reasons it can make it hard. However, we both think we can come out of the other side of this distance together... and I think that's the big ticket here.----------So, in reality, it depends. Grimm's right that you should ask yourself questions when evaluating if it'll work for you two.I agree with the ones Grim provided, although I would say that the 2nd question doesn't hold as much weight as the other two.Other questions you should ask yourself:- How committed are you both to the survival of the relationship.- How much do you see yourself with this person.- Can you see this being the one and only for you.- Do you think you both are on the same level of commitment and is this level to a point where you look at each other as the only ones for one another (yes, this can be shattered later, but think of the now)- Keep them coming... I'm sure you can think of others that are important.And here's the great thing about a relationship: you don't have to answer these questions on your own. Talk to you partner and see how they feel! The two of you should communicate whether you want to go through a long distance relationship. My girlfriend and I talked at least twice about whether or not we wanted to keep dating with the great distance between us.Anyway, I hope this information helps. Good luck and happy trails!
A
male
reader, GrimmReality  +, writes (8 January 2009):
 In a nutshell.......NO!
I have tried it from over 1000 miles. Mine ended in Disaster
There are many Agony aunts here on site that are going to say the same thing. 236 miles in reality is a fairly short distance comapred with persons for example who live in different countries. But I must say you have to ask yourself a couple of things:
1)Is the other party(as far as you know) as committed to keeping the relationship as you are?
2)Does the distance preclude you from seeing each other at least twice a month?
3)If you are keeping in touch, how often, and by what means(telephone, Email, IM, or Post)?
If you can answer these three questions to yourself with a confidence level(on a 10 point scale) at an 8 or above, then you have a shot.
If not....stay friends...even be fuck buddies...but dont expect anything long term.
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A
female
reader, lovesagiftkeepitsafe +, writes (8 January 2009):
 i live in the uk n used to go out wiv a guy who lived in hawwie we saw each other about 3 times a year but he called most days. we lasted 2 years so the answer to your question is. if your willing to be with someone it does matter how far appart you are from them so yes, long distance relatonships do and can work. help this helps good luck xxx
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