A
female
age
41-50,
anonymous
writes:im in love with a man five yrs my junior. It started out as a fling, then we realized we had more in common than we thaught. we became good friends and he invited me to church. its been six months and recently asked him where he sees this going. he says he loves me, all the time, but isnt ready. ive told him that am at a point in my life that i need someone who wants to be with me. he says that he wants to be with me sexually, and isnt a whore, but he knows that he isnt ready for that step. i told him that i have to say goodbye, that i know what i want, which is a full relationship. he told me hes scared. i told him im scared too, but i still cant allow fear to ruin my shot at happiness. so now i asked him to give me space. to get over him and this situation. I know the love is there. but i dont want to wait and be dissapointed by someone who knows his heart is with me, but is to scared to let the world know. What should I do? Did I do the right thing? Reply to this Question
Share |
Fancy yourself as an agony aunt? Add your answer to this question! A
female
reader, anonymous, writes (7 November 2008): Update: I just recently found out that he had volunteered to give my number to his friend, who absolutely adores me. months ago, he tried that and i told him "dont ever try that again". recently i confided in this same friend about the situation i posted, Come to find out, HIs friend had no clue we were even talking, Infact his friend told me that when Guys in his crew have asked after me, (if me and this guy are an item), the response given by him was " Mind your business, what business is it of yours". The same younger guy also once told me, that everyone is wondering what a girl like me is doing with someone like him. I am an attractive young woman, and alot of his friends have hit on me in the past, I have not taken any of there numbers. IT was only because i found him to be a funny and unique individual , thats what caught my eye. not his looks. But how and why could he tell his friends that all we are is Just friends, yet "spend all this time with me" we dont even have sex regularly. sometimes hed just lay next to me and sleep, and when i asked him why hed respond" i came to spend time with you and not to sleep with you". im just really confused now. So hes too ashamed to announce me to his friends?
Yet this same guy will park his car at church and spend 2 days with me, then, he and i would ride in my car back to church on sunday, in front of the congregation? I dont GET IT.
A
female
reader, hlskitten  +, writes (4 November 2008):
 Personally I think you absolutely did the right thing.
When I was 31, I met a guy that was 22. We started out as seeing each other, just a bit of fun. But within a month, he asked if we could date properly, because we got on so well. I was a mother of 2 children who were a few yrs under 10 that meant I was mature and stable to him. I went along with it because I liked the guy, but it was a turbulant 2 yrs and I really dont regret it. (we split 5+ yrs ago) But ultimately I wasn't looking to pass time with someone fun, I needed someone more grounded that had done their living. He still had a lot of living to do regardless of how much we loved each other. And how much he thought at the time he wanted to settle down. He said all the right things put it that way. I walked away with a heavy heart, and took a while getting over it. He has partied til the cows came home since, which confirmed I did the right thing.
So your question struck a chord, and I definately think you did the right thing. But i'm biased from my own experience of course.
C xxxxxx
...............................
A
female
reader, anonymous, writes (4 November 2008): 6 months is Plenty enough time to get to know someone, fall in love, and decide if this person is the one you want to share your life with. (marriage)It's the big issues in life to agree on, but don't sweat the small stuff. He is obviously Not Ready to commit to be with you, sad to say. You deserve someone to Love you for You. (a good way to know if a Man wants You, is to Not have sex in the relationship) Take Care!
...............................
A
female
reader, Miss Potter +, writes (4 November 2008):
 So what kind of commitment you wanted from him? To become a couple? Or to get married?To become an item after 6 months is quite ok, don't know why he should be undecisive about that, unless he doesnt like you enough.To get married after 6 months, I think you are rushing it.So which one is it?
...............................
|
