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Was I just a tool for him Friday night?

Tagged as: Sex, The ex-factor<< Previous question   Next question >>
Question - (11 July 2010) 1 Answers - (Newest, 11 July 2010)
A female Australia age 51-59, anonymous writes:

I slept with my ex-boyfriend Friday night. He has a full-time job now and said that he loves me and loves to have sex with me.

Prior to him getting a full-time job he would normally answer my text messages and be very attentive so to speak and act interested in me in other areas of my life apart from just sex.

I text him this evening and mentioned that I was extemely relieved that I had just found out my Uni results and that I had passed both units in particularly one unit that was very hard that I wasn't sure whether I would pass or not. He was aware when I was studying this unit as to how hard I found it and my concerns of whether I would pass or not.

He hasn't replied at all to this text message and I am starting to feel like I was just a tool on Friday night for his sexual satisfaction and that he does not really care for me as he says he does let alone love me.

I would really appreciate some advice here.

View related questions: my ex, text

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A female reader, anonymous, writes (11 July 2010):

Loves you and loves to have sex with you. So far the only part of that statement he has demonstrated is he loves to have sex with you.

Generally, once a guy has had a sexual relationship with you he will forever more see you as his posession sexually, he will miss that part of your relationship, but being an ex, that is all he misses about it.

Your mistake is thinking having sex equals relationship, equals commitment on his part, you accepted a vague promise and sealed it with a roll in bed. He is fine, he is on his merry way doing what he wants to do, which is to be free from the responsibilities of relationship.

Otherwise, he would have asked you to be exclusive with him, to get back together, he would have reassured you of his changes, apologized for the break up and asked for another chance.

None of that occurred. Texting about a serious or intimate subject is never a good idea. If it is important enough to you to tell him about, it should be important enough to him to actually speak to you about it or to phone you. Don't settle for texting, it is really really a low form of communication and does not build intimacy, which is what you deserve and want.

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