A
female
age
36-40,
*ilxtaxxxiii
writes:Ok, so about 3 weeks ago, I met a guy through a friend of a friend. He's Polish, grew up in France, and is going to music school in Amsterdam. We hit if off at the very beginning, and hung out a few times. He did many sweet things to make me think he was hanging out with me because he actually liked me, and not just for sex. For example, we went to the beach at night and he threw me in the water so I was wet and cold for the night. When I complained to him, he went to buy me a $12 tourist tank top so I change into something dry and not be cold! He would grab and hold my hand when walking in the street, he told me about his childhood and the places he's been, the things he wants to do, what angers him about his government and society in general. All in all, a wonderful guy. He left last week to go back to Amsterdam, and he called me when he got back to let me know he's safely home. He called me again, asking to talk on Skype, but I couldn't because I was still at work. He told me he would call again tomorrow, and we could talk then. But I have not received any contact from him since. It's been 5-6 days now. Has he forgotten about me already? He said he would be busy traveling back to France, but is he really too busy to answer my email? Is it stupid of me to think there could be something more here than a summer fling, especially since it's such a long distance? This is really killing me and I can't take the suspense =( Do you think he actually liked me or was he just using me for sex? AHH!!
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female
reader, lilxtaxxxiii +, writes (3 August 2010):
lilxtaxxxiii is verified as being by the original poster of the questionThanks guys. I don't know, it's just a really strange situation. Because we didn't exactly end things, but we didn't agree to continue them either. He asked me several times to visit him in Amsterdam, which I have a good chance of doing this December. I think I'm going to do it. Even if it ends in total heartbreak, I'd rather chance that than completely regret not trying at all!
A
male
reader, anonymous, writes (3 August 2010): I am Egyptian, having only fun with a Russian girl here in Sharm el Sheikh. I hold hands with her while walking, and I pay on parties and restaurants no less than $100 per night!!! Don't be naive please! What does paying $12 for that thing mean?! Moreover all what you described expresses nothing special at all from a man point of view. No he was not using you. You were having good time together, you both wanted it and enjoyed it, and according to your post he didn't promise you with anything.
Why don't we say that you used him? It makes the same sense, because no one here has used the other. He'd either contact you again and we'd see then what happens, or that's it and you have to remember these days in a good way, which I am sure you would, once some time passes.
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A
female
reader, johannabanana +, writes (3 August 2010):
 It doesn't necessarily mean he doesn't care or that he was using you for sex. However when sex is evolved a long distance relationship is less likely to survive because facing the facts there are a lot of tempting people to be around all the time. Out on the town with friends, going to parties etc. Something is eventually bound to happen. And he probably just hasn't been able to contact you yet because he busy. My best advice is be friends with him and if it was something really worth going for you two will figure out a way to be in the same place. Just remember: what is meant to be will be,
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A
male
reader, Jmtmj  +, writes (3 August 2010):
 Summer flings are beautiful things... but you shouldn't look too deep into them. He wasn't using you just for sex, he probably really enjoyed your company, but that's just the nature of flings when you're traveling, you can have these care-free mini-relationships.And I hate to say it, but $12 isn't a lot of money where I'm from...
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