A
female
age
36-40,
anonymous
writes:This is a cliche situation but I think I'm in love with my ex-boss! It started from the first time that we started talking on a personal level. I mean from my side I know I started having feelings for him from then on..my problem is that he's married! And happily so! And 11 years older than me! And the worst part is that I feel he loves me too! This couldn't get any worse..he is this kind of guy who never had a girlfriend before marriage and now he is with his wife and has a kid with her..he claims to be an extremely reserved person but the kind of conversations we've had and the way he's behaved with me several times while we've been alone, I seriously doubt that! He becomes like this playful little college kid when we talk..there's a little flirting and talking and innocent touching and laughter and emotions and chemistry between us..but then he suddenly realizes that he's married and becomes a totally different kind of person..he becomes rude and gives irritating answers just so that I stop talking to him..it doesn't happen though..we end up talking one way or the other.My friends to who I've told about all this say he's finding it hard to resist falling in love with me as he is the kind of man who is proud to be loyal..but the way he is with me makes me think about him non-stop!I have never been so crazy about anyone before..if someone just so much as says his name around me I can feel butterflies in my stomach..and because of this even though endless number of guys have asked me out I feel nothing for them! Even for a minute if I do think of someone else I feel like I just cheated on my ex-boss!I don't want to feel this way..someone please please help me out here!
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reader, anonymous, writes (8 September 2010): This is verified as being by the original poster of the questionThanks a lot for your replies both of you! There's one thing I want to make very clear here though..I would never want to start a relationship with this guy even if he were ok with it!I've seen his family when they'd come to visit him in office and man does he love the kid or what!(Though I'd say I didn't really find that same affection for his wife while she was there..)anyway..he had even asked me up front if I like him or not but I've denied it even though I feel for him so strongly only because I don't want to lose him..I'm scared he'll cut me off if I ever admit to him what I feel..I know its horrible on my part to even think of him but I'm helpless! I can't stop myself..its like involuntarily done! This what I don't want to do..this is what I don't want to feel..
A
reader, anonymous, writes (8 September 2010): This is verified as being by the original poster of the questionThanks both of you..thanks a lot.I just want to clear the fact that I would never start up a relationship with him even if by some miracle he agrees to do so..never!I mean he has actually asked me if I have feelings for him and I've denied it even though I so strongly feel for him..I'm scared of losing him..I feel if I admit I like him he'll totally cut me off irrespective of what he feels. When he did ask me whether I had feelings for him I told him I don't and I told that I've seen his family(when they came to visit him in office)and that it seemed like a happy family to me and I would never want to be the one wanting to break up a family..I'd die out of guilt..thats the reason I just don't want to think of him..but I'm unable to do so..I know its a horrible thing to do but I feel helpless..
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A
female
reader, anonymous, writes (7 September 2010): i appreciate the above answer....
just think of the lil child and his wife....not just this but even that ur boss being loyal to his family.
tho he mit b attracted to u...not sure,..he stil knows his boundaries!
and other thing! even if he makes up with u, he wud regret n may end up in guilt...his life may mess up! just because he is loyal and respects relnships!
so think twice before u step in!
now if coming to u- at the end, even u wud b messed up ,altho it may b tht initially u feel all's going well....lately u may also regret!
so....keep urself in shoes of his wife,his kid and even in his own!!and then decide!
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A
female
reader, bebe87  +, writes (7 September 2010):
 Whooa. Well I will be completely honest with you. As it sounds to me is that you are wrong, and need to respect all people involved here (you, him, her and the child) it would be different if he was single or dating someone maybe but married, and just the fact that you can see his loyalty should be a clear indicator to you. We women, lets face it can pretty much get what we want, and to flirt with someone or such usually results in getting a man excited and responsive. Because this is someone you work for nonetheless, it would be in your best interest to be as professional as you can, with that said no personal feelings attached. And don’t play games with the poor guy! Falling in love, to me is something that has to be right and done in the right manner, you know what I mean when I say this. And put yourself in the shoes of his wife! Good luck girl! I hope you see what is right and what isn’t.
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