A
male
age
41-50,
*ayL
writes:Ok, Here's the scenario.. 10 years ago I was in a relationship with this girl..She was 18 and I was 20... I just got out of the Army and came back to the state. I passed by her town (80miles from my home town) and picked her up and took her home with me for a week. We had a great time.. Anyways.. She wanted me to move down there and said I could stay with her family and her until I got a job.. Anyway.. After 2 weeks I finally decided I wanted to marry her.. We'd been seeing eachother for about a year. After her father found out he pretty much made her tell me to leave.. I never understood what happened but I left.. 10 years pass by and I make contact with her again.. She was currently "Living" with a guy she had been planning on leaving for some time.. The guy is an alcoholic and pretty much treated her like crap for several years.. When he found out she was pregnant he told her to kill the baby.. She left but her mom's landlord told her she couldn't stay there etc.. She had nowhere else to go so she thought to work it out with him.. The day she walked in the door she checked her myspace and seen a message from me.. We began talking.. 2 months went by and she finally got herself out of there and into an apartment.. He dont know where she's at and she don't intend on telling him.. But we planned that I would come down for a week and spend time with her.. The second I saw her again I felt the feelings I had before.. She was my first REAL love.. It was pretty good at first the first night.. We couldn't stop touching eachother.. It got to the point where we almost had sex.. We decided not to.. She seemed comfortable with me..The next morning I woke up and laid down beside her in the living room.. We didn't even really have to touch and she took me to the room and wanted to have sex.. We did.. Later on that day she said she felt like a slut.. But she kept asking me if it was good being with her again for the first time.. I said yes and she acted like she didn't believe me.. She also told me she thought I shouldn't stay the whole week because she was worried about the possibility of him finding her.. She said she didn't want me caught up in the drama..I was a tad worried this was going to end up like it did 10 years ago.. I asked her if that was the case and she said no.. She said she still wants to pursue a relationship with me but she needed to get herself adjusted and her daughter adjusted.. So I left the next day.. She kissed me and wasn't acting weird about it.. She don't have a phone yet so the only way I can find out if things are ok is by calling her mom.. First time I called she was at her moms.. She has seizures occassionally and she felt like she was going to have one so she went over there the night before..(The first full day without me there.)I talked to her and I said I missed her already and she said "I know" She said she would call me and have me down one weekend and cook me dinner and stuff.. she said she was going back to her apt. that night, I was hoping to hear from her the next day but I haven't and it's been 2 days and still nothing.. Figure maybe I should wait a bit longer before I worry about it.. Please tell me what I should do.
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female
reader, Honeypie + ♥, writes (29 January 2010):
 Good luck Jay.
A
male
reader, JayL +, writes (29 January 2010):
JayL is verified as being by the original poster of the questionShe got her a phone and she called me today. She wants me to come see her tomorrow so she's obviously not going to try making me wait weeks on end. She says that she was missing talking to me being that we would talk atleast 5 times a week before..So I think this is good, I will continue to try keeping things moving slower so I can know for sure when she is ready to actually commit. Thanks for the help everyone.
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A
male
reader, JayL +, writes (27 January 2010):
JayL is verified as being by the original poster of the questionThis reply is to Honeypie, The relationship is over with him and her and has been. She just finally had the opportunity to get out and get her own place with her daughter. However I do agree there is a lot of drama involved.
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A
female
reader, Honeypie + ♥, writes (27 January 2010):
Go to Walmart, but her one of those prepaid phones and a phonecard for her then you two can always keep in contact.
Also I would ask what actually happened 10 years ago. It obviously had an impact on the both of you.
Thirdly but not last, She needs to "officially" end the relationship with her BF before moving on or he will always be a worry for her.
I can understand why she called herself a slut. It's not that she is regretting hooking up with you, but technically she is cheating on her BF with you. Obviously she knows it is wrong. It really doesn't matter how big an ass the guy is. So the girls have some values, however she didn't stick with them, hence the name calling.
Good luck, not to offend you but she sound like a lot of drama and a big mess.
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A
female
reader, pinktopaz +, writes (27 January 2010):
Well if she doesn't have a phone at her place and she went back to her place later that night, then I'm guessing she wouldn't be able to call you? From what you said, I think she's probably still interested in seeing where things go, but wants to take it slowly. It's been a long time and a lot of things have happened, so she's probably not wanting to get ahead of herself. I think she will call you when it gets closer to a weekend (maybe not this one in particular) and want to hang out and make you dinner like she said. Give it a few more days and try calling again and leave a message if she's not there. After that, it's up to her to call you.
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