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Troubled relationship..could my dreams mean anything?

Tagged as: Troubled relationships<< Previous question   Next question >>
Question - (26 June 2009) 7 Answers - (Newest, 25 July 2009)
A female United States age 30-35, *aydee writes:

ok, so my ex boyfriend and i have been trying to work things out for about a year now. And recently, he decided that he wants to be completely done; finished. I've become exhausted by our problems that I've come to careless about it. But i keep having dreams that him and i are back together. For example, there was acouple of dreams where him and i aren't together and we actually work things out about our real life situations and we get back together and everything works out. Its a constant routine that i dream about it. Does that mean anything? Oh, and i think i should add on that he hates to admit how he feels. Its really hard and complicated to explain. Any help?

View related questions: get back together, my ex

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A male reader, anonymous, writes (25 July 2009):

If you dream like this again, pay attention to the problem and the resulted solution. Even if it is something far fetched. Our minds when we sleep try to work out problems from our previous state of being awake. If you two fight over something, just remember it is fixable, no matter how stubborn or unwilling your significant other is to work it out on their end. Your dreams are your best relationship advice, not other people. Even if in your dream a witch casts a spell on them to make them hate you, it probably means something like, you think they are cheating on you.

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A female reader, betty_black United Kingdom +, writes (26 June 2009):

betty_black agony auntIts the sub concious mind coming through in dreams. So basically its what you've been thinking of without even realising and they come forward in dreams. Or you could have even had that on your mind and thats why you've dreamt about it. Dreams are strange oddities and sometimes can mean something, other times are totally random. I wouldnt think too much into it, ive dreamed that my exes have changed and are actually nice people that love me, but that never happened! So dont fret it. Its probably not going to happen, you two are seperated with many reasons so just leave it at that.

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A female reader, ErinPatterson United States +, writes (26 June 2009):

ErinPatterson agony aunt

If you have been with him for a while..its tough..I know its kind of like you get immune to teh situation..we all handle break ups so differntly..if you dont want to loose him then talk to him but sometimes unfortunately shit happens and we have to move on..dreams ..well cant control that just sooner or later they will go away and you will meet others if it doesnt work out with him..keep your chin up;)

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A female reader, kaydee United States +, writes (26 June 2009):

kaydee is verified as being by the original poster of the question

Yea, I've heard acouple of those answers before. You guys really did have good advice. Thanks a lot

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A female reader, Honeypie United States + , writes (26 June 2009):

Honeypie agony auntMost likely it is your brains way of trying to figure out the events of your life. Doesn't mean that you will actually "fix" your relationship problem, more that you aren't totally willing to let go.

Don't forget that dreams are DREAMS, nothing more nothing less.

A lot of people who quit smoking keeps dreaming that the did indeed smoke and wake up feeling guilt, now that is most likely the nicotine addiction speaking not a wish to start smoking again. It makes sense, but we all know that a LOT of dreams don't makes sense at all. As I see it is the brains way of sorting events, people, movies, books and putting them in the right "boxes" for either "deletion" or storage. Why the brain store certain thing and not other, I have no clue.

So with that said, I wouldn't put more thought or analyzing into your dreams.

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A female reader, anonymous, writes (26 June 2009):

You know, I am wondering the exact same thing. Even though I have been dating the same guy for the last two years, I keep having dreams with the boyfriend I had before him, it is very scary. One night I even had a dream he was sleeping next to me, while my current bf was at my other side, and woke up drenched in sweat. I rolled over and thankfully only my current bf was at my side, asleep. I do think and feel in my heart that dreams, especially repeated ones mean something. People say dreams don't mean anything, but I think they must. I had no closure in my last relationship, because he joined the military and I was in school. I know my ex, even though he has another gf now, still loves me and always will (even though he hates to admit how he feels too). I am planning on breaking up with my current bf, to explore other possibilities, and see if I too, can possibly reconnect and clear up this dream thing with my ex.

I say, give him time. It sounds like you need some time too. And if it is meant to be, and your dreams are consistent, even if you are dating someone else, then you will most likely end up back together. But I think time away, especially if that is what he wants, is for the best right now. What you can do is try and remain his friend, be sweet to him and there for him as a friend, or atleast let him know you are there for him as a friend always. With time and while dating other people, you/he may come to realise, things you miss and had taken for granted, or that possibly you will find someone else you would have missed out on otherwise. Try dating someone else who you may have interest in, and is interested in you. Be open with your ex. If he wants you back, he will do anything to get you back.

It is a difficult situation, but you must do your best to keep busy, and let him have his time, if that is what he wishes. Because if you don't take a needed break you may have massive and explosive problems, whish will make the both of you very unhappy, and the next time it ends, it may really end.

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A reader, anonymous, writes (26 June 2009):

It could mean that, even though you are exhausted by the constant problems, deep down you still would like to try and work things out with him.

I do believe that our dreams can show us the truth about how we feel, although it might not always seem obvious!

Whenever I dream about my ex, I dream that I am running away from him, desperately trying to get away...I think that says it all really! But the point is, in my day to day life, I sometimes miss him and get tempted to contact him. I know really though that it wouldn't be a good idea. And my dreams reflect that truth, and reinforce my feelings.

So maybe it is your way of sorting through things that are happening right now. Perhaps you just need some time to clear your head and take a break from what is going on, then you might feel better able to try again, if that is what you would like to do. Hope something helps. x

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