A
female
age
41-50,
anonymous
writes:Dear Cupids,I am extremely confused right now and could seriously do with some advise. Last year I ended a LTR with my partner of 7 years. Our r/ship at first was amazing..and I fel head over heels for this guy...Unfortunately due to several circumstances our r/ship turned sour and we argued alot..hence why I walked away..Since the break up we have both been seeing other people and still in touch with eachother..We both still love each other but I think both of us saw things far clearer apart. I was completely devastated when he told me me he was happy with someone else..It was heart wrenching..but I had to accept his decision and move on myself. I wished him love and happiness and ceased all contact.. I met someone really nice who is an amazing guy..and makes me smile...It's very early days still.My ex has now dumped his current girlfriend and told me that he would like us to get back together sometime in the future..He wants to get married and have kids...I still love my ex...but I think rekindling that flame would take so much effort...and I'm not sure I can devote that much time...My current boyfriend can sense my stress..he's constantly asking are we ok??...I can't tell him about my ex because I don't want to hurt him...I'm trying to get my head around it...What should I do ???? Please somebody .....? :(
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get back together, move on, my ex Reply to this Question
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Fancy yourself as an agony aunt? Add your answer to this question! A
female
reader, anonymous, writes (14 April 2012): Tell your bf the truth exactly as you've told us. If you hide the truth when he's asking for it or lie to him that's being manipulative.
A
male
reader, Capri2  +, writes (13 April 2012):
Having a relationship with someone (you current boyfriend) while you're still in love with you ex, is kind of cheating on him (your current). You should be honest with him and leave him alone. Or at least you should tell him what's going on.
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A
female
reader, Tisha-1  +, writes (13 April 2012):
 Why can't you be honest with your current boyfriend about the ex issue, if you know you aren't going back? Perhaps this uncertainty and confusion is a sign that you aren't fully committed to the new guy and need to take a breather from this relationship until you get your head sorted and have really moved on from the grieving process of the lost relationship.
Basically, you aren't okay, are you, if you are this stressed. So take a step back, give your new boyfriend the real story and try to sort through the mourning process.
You haven't made a compelling argument to get back together, as the relationship ended on a sour note and over arguments. Unless you have worked through that problem, perhaps with couples' counseling, rekindling the old relationship will only end in the same unhappiness, because you two never sorted it out. You just ended it.
So, end the current relationship, or go on break, spend some time working through the grief process and if you do decide to make a go of it with the ex, get into couples' counseling so that it stands some chance of surviving. It's all a bit bumpy but your stress is telling you that you are not where you should be.
Good luck.
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