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To tell the truth or not?

Tagged as: Pregnancy, Sex<< Previous question   Next question >>
Question - (21 October 2009) 10 Answers - (Newest, 23 October 2009)
A female United States age 30-35, *tella19 writes:

just out of curiosity ... i dont need negative answers im just wondering.. which is worse.. not telling your significant other that your pregnant? Or sleeping with someone else and giving your girlfriend the clap?

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A reader, anonymous, writes (23 October 2009):

Well, why didn't you just come on here and tell your story and ask the questions so you could get some honest answers.

I don't think not telling you are pregnant for a couple of months is a cardinal sin, you may have been wanting to decide what to do for yourself, you are not married, it is your body, you didn't know if the father would be there for you, etc....Not telling you he had the clap but wanting to work things out, seeing someone else at the same time as you and wanting to work things out?

Nah, something about that is just not right. I hope you and your baby are doing fine and the guy is on the sidelines with his diseased girlfriend, but then I wouldn't accept him back after all of that, that is just me.

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A female reader, stella19  United States +, writes (23 October 2009):

stella19 is verified as being by the original poster of the question

to clear up any misunderstandings about the question... i am no longer pregnant i had my son in may hes 5 months old. i withheld the pregnancy from him for about a month or two, i also didnt find out till about 3 months. we had "split up" you could say when he contracted the clap when our son was two months old . we started to work things out about a week and a half later... but he was still "seeing" this girl and me at the same time.So the reason i asked was once he told about that he had it i of course get furious.. and he threw withholding the pregnancy in my face.

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A female reader, Imentall United States +, writes (22 October 2009):

Well, I'll give you a very positive "Whatever you can live with darlin".

I will positively tell you that they both equally suck.

A very positive way to avoid both 1)stop having sex with people that it would be terrible to have a baby with 2)wrap that little sucker in lambskin or latex.

Not everything about sex or life is positive.

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A reader, anonymous, writes (21 October 2009):

Well, being a girl, I think it would be better to hide a pregnancy that give my bf the clap. At least with the pregnancy you can always say "i was scared" or "i wanted to be sure" ... the excuses are endless! How could you possibly find an excuse for the clap? "Well you see, that dern toilet has been out to get me..." haha definitely the clap is worse!

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A reader, anonymous, writes (21 October 2009):

What is your ulterior motive for asking this question? What is your agenda? To waste the aunt's time? To settle and argument? This really is ridiculous, and I am sure you knew that when you decided to click on submit.

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A reader, anonymous, writes (21 October 2009):

So you dont want negative answers ( heh heh. Tough luck ). yet ask about rather negative scenarios. I hope they are hypothetical. Both stink. Not telling about a pregnancy means not telling your planning a secret abortion i presume. Possibly not knowing who's the daddy.

If my partner did it.

Thats mean. But i wouldnt want to have a child with her and definitelly wouldnt want to raise some other mans child. So in a way that would be better than telling me its mine. But not nearly as good as telling the truth so i can purge you from my life you infidell.

No2 we seem to have switched sexes now. But yeah. Thats worse.

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A reader, anonymous, writes (21 October 2009):

im not sure what you are hoping for here with the no negative answer guideline but here goes...im positive this is a bad scenario. Im positive that this relationship is in trouble and there need to be apologies (plural) made. For a relationship to work the blame game has to stop and the im sorries have to begin. If you are both mature enough to have sex, and make a baby, you should be mature enough to forgive and work on this relationship. The saying that love means never having to say im sorry is a bunch of crock. Love is about putting someone elses needs and feeling equal to your own. You were both wrong. Im positive.

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A female reader, anonymous, writes (21 October 2009):

I would not have the baby and dump the boyfriend. This you are worse than me situation is no good....

Negative answers - that sounds like a very negative game playing (can't call it a relationship). Just because you can have sex does not mean you are mature.

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A female reader, anonymous, writes (21 October 2009):

Two wrongs don't make a right, but three lefts do LOL

Just thought I'd lighten things up for you...these are both behaviors that signal a bad relationship. If you are pregnant, please seek some couseling for you and your mate so you can have a better relationship going forward :)

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A female reader, k_c100 United Kingdom +, writes (21 October 2009):

k_c100 agony auntWhat a strange question!

Both are as bad as each other in my opinion - lying and cheating are on an equal level with each other.

Not telling your partner your pregnant is one of the worst lies I can think of. And cheating and being stupid enough to catch an STD is pretty damn low too.

So assuming you are talking about yourself here and your situation where you find yourself pregnant but your boyfriend has cheated on you and given you the clap, well you two clearly are not suited! If you feel you have to lie to him and he cheats on you then your relationship is not working and you are bringing out the worst in each other!

I hope this helps and good luck!

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