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age
41-50,
anonymous
writes: Hi there,I met a guy through a social of a religious cult thing and then added him on FB a year later when I left town.. He accepted and we exchanged a couple of messages. I don't know much about him and he was not personal, just random likes to my photos and posts every now and then... Most of the times though, he'd share my links or post something similar on his wall or group wall as he happens to be a group admin. Eight months later, I decided to unfriend him on FB. He wrote back adding me again and so I wrote explaining to him that we were not even friends since I knEw nothing about him and he was always reluctant to share and avoided me on chat... I told him that this wasn't friendship in my standards and therefore I was just using FB to keep in touch with friends who I can talk to or even meet. He wrote back saying that although we were not "friends" in the real sense of the word, we were brothers and sisters and ought to know about each other. He also added that he doesn't use FB to connect with people and that FB doesn't allow real friendships to form! I thought he's contradicting himself since he's kind of an obsessive user of FB.. He then wrote he wanted to check on me, know my news and see my photos since he knows I'm keen on photography. I didn't add him nor reply back as I suppose he simply isn't into me and is just being polite and doesn't want to hurt my feelings. Did I over-react? Were we both childish? It's been two months now. Thanks for advice in advance x
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reader, anonymous, writes (23 September 2011): This is verified as being by the original poster of the questionTo male anon,
I quite agree we both had different expectations using FB. I for one use it mainly to connect with friends in town or abroad alike. I have a bunch of friends on FB, real friends who I can count on in the real world and phone often. But we use FB at work or on rainy weekends just for the fun of it :-) I add quality NOT quantity and I although I was a little keen to kindle something online I didn't bank on him. You're right; a real man would have the courage to take things off line. I'm a little surprised he was a tad uncomfortable on having unfriended him!
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reader, anonymous, writes (23 September 2011): This is verified as being by the original poster of the questionTennisstar, I can't thank you enough for your prompt replies! In fact, the group was very much alive and he used to post incessantly and got a couple of comments and many likes everyday. I'm not too keen on adding him again, it's just the fact that he's deleted the whole group thing that made me think he's done it on purpose only to say that you either friend me on my personal wall or you get to see nothing. We had similar likes and studied the same major at uni. Thanks again for the tips :) Peace out!
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female
reader, tennisstar88  +, writes (23 September 2011):
 Were there a lot of people on the group? Did the group wall have any recent comments on there or was it pretty inactive?
I don't believe it's anything personal. People often delete groups because people start leaving the group (due to FB profile cleaning) or no one is posting on the group wall and the group's page renders pointless.
If you want to accept his friend request then go ahead..maybe you can get to know him on a more personal level if he'll allow it to happen outside of FB.
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reader, anonymous, writes (23 September 2011): This is verified as being by the original poster of the questionThanks tennisstar 88, I know FB might disappear but it's created a lot of probs already!
By the way, I forgot to mention that I told him that the only connection between us is the group he's created (He's a group admin). It's an interesting group in which I used to post as well... To my surprise though, he had deleted the group?! Does that mean he doesn't want anything to do with me or does he want me to accept the friendship request and access the info which he now posts on his wall.
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male
reader, anonymous, writes (23 September 2011): I think you had different expections adding him on fb than he did, like there was a romantic agenda on your part he didn't fulfill. He probably treated you like he would any fb friend and you took to heart that he didn't perceive his online friendships as close friendships.
People use fb as a social mechanism, like a small online community to peer into the lives of others with similar interests. His real friendships are people he spends time with in his every day life and hopefully so are yours! If a man is romantically interested in you he will take things offline.
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female
reader, tennisstar88 +, writes (23 September 2011):
He sounds like one of those people who get all hurt when you delete them from FB.
It's your friends list, you decide who you want on there. Personally, if you only want to keep actual friends on there then I would leave him off. He sounds like more of an acquaintance. Also, a bit odd with that brothers and sisters comment.
Don't take FB too literally, one day it will come to an end just like Myspace. Especially with all those ridiculous updates.
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