A
female
age
51-59,
anonymous
writes:I have been seeing a guy for months now and have fallen hard for him...and in turn him for me. I want to be with him but one thing that is a must have for him is having threesomes and/or foursomes. While I am bisexual and have been with other women and have even had 3somes with couples there was no emotional connection between myself and the other participants.I am terrified to have a threesome with my new boyfriend because I really care about him. I am worried that it will go badly. That I will be jealous and hurt. What if he ends up liking "her" better than me? Does it mean I am not good enough? I feel panic thinking about these fears. :(I want to trust his love for me and explore my sexuality but amd so scared.How do I work this out?
View related questions:
jealous, threesome Reply to this Question
Share |
Fancy yourself as an agony aunt? Add your answer to this question! A
female
reader, pashanoodle  +, writes (23 October 2008):
 I hope not, he may surprise you and value you more than you think! See how it goes when you talk with him.
I know this is really hard for you - I'd be feeling the same way I'm sure, but unfortunately you can't stop it now - you have to deal with it or it will eat you up and ultimately impact negatively on your r'ship anyway.
Good luck - and take care. x
A
reader, anonymous, writes (21 October 2008): This is verified as being by the original poster of the questioni hate the way this is going. Im so sad. Part of me wishes I just never told him how I felt about him. It feels like Im going to lose my very best friend and the guy I love. :(
...............................
A
female
reader, pashanoodle +, writes (20 October 2008):
I agree, part of close, loving relationships is compromise - for example, I'm a neat freak and my man is pretty darn messy...but we each have had to compromise and meet half way - so that this 'issue' (which can actually be HUGE for lots of couples)didn't negatively impact.
Same goes for sex - of course you want to do whatever you can to satisfy him - but it shouldn't be at the cost of your own comfort.
Talk to him about how you're feeling - hopefully he will understand and let this go. There are plenty of other 'adventurous' things you two can do together. If he doesn't let it go...maybe he's not the guy for you?
Good luck!
...............................
A
female
reader, anonymous, writes (20 October 2008): You are both in a loving relationship and if it makes you uncomfortable then as someone who loves you very much he should appreciate that and also appreciate that he has been there and done that and that it's not somehing you want with him. Also yu have experimented and once you meet the right person alot of the time people don't see themselves sleeping with anyone else or their partner and that is the best part of it, in my opinion anyway. If he presses it just tell him it's not something you want if he can't understand then don't let this man hurt you. Hope this helped.
...............................
A
female
reader, cheekyme  +, writes (20 October 2008):
 I wud feel the same, if my boyfriend asked me to have a threesome with him and another lady i wud be shocked. It wud make me feel panicy too for the same reason's that i'd be scared he'd start to like her.
Just tell him it dosnt make you feel comfortable thinking bout having a threesome and u do not wish to have one. He must respect wat you want, it wud be selfish of him not to understand you, and kind of force/convince you into havin one just because it is wat he wants. He has to respect your wish's too.
And no it does NOT mean you are not good enough, i think what you are feeling is right, you love him and are scared to lose him, any partner with another partner that wishes to have a threesome wud feel the same.
Dont let him convince you into anything you are not sure about.
GOOD LUCK AND TAKE CARE
HOLLY
...............................
|
