A
male
age
41-50,
*ere4now
writes:Recently my girlfriend has been talking about a threesome with another girl and I wanted to let this happen because it was one of her fantasies. So by chance my birthday was last month and we final had our chance. She was not happy with the outcome and I feel this was a big mistake. The only good outcome is the other girl was able to feel good about herself and it boosted her self esteem.I really am on the fence and feel used and laughed at when my girlfriend is mad at me but still turned on by seeing these things?What should I do? I am not mad at her. I am very sorry for what happened
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self esteem, threesome Reply to this Question
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female
reader, omihli  +, writes (19 March 2011):
What you don't clerify is why your girlfriend thought of it at first time. I think the answer to that question says a lot about your relationship and each of you.And i will analyse it so as to make it even more clear.Those are some of the reasons she might had in her mind:she's bored of your sex life,she's a bysexual tendency that wants to pop out,she can't value your relationship,she's testing you,she thinks this can make it all more special in a spicy kind of way,she thinks it's a fashionable thing to do,she hasn't thought of any conciquences,i honestly can't think any reason that includes you being hapilly part of it. i strongly beleive no matter which reason she acted selfisly and i can't see you getting over that experience.....
A
male
reader, anonymous, writes (17 March 2011): I might be exceptionally dense, but I'm not sure I understand what you mean by "she was not happy about the outcome" and that you "feel used and laughed at when my girlfriend is mad at me"?
What was the outcome? Why was your gf not happy about it?
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A
male
reader, elkabong +, writes (17 March 2011):
This is the BEST thing that could have happened to you. Threesomes are bad for relationships and love. They are good for parties and prostitutes, and bachelor parties. Tell her you did not like it and would not like to play these games again. If she wants to do it again, you can never be serious with her.
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A
female
reader, anonymous, writes (16 March 2011): Is she feeling insecure because the other girl was perhaps better looking or had a better body? Did you penetrate the other girl? If so, maybe she's upset because she feels that this other girl felt 'better' to you than she does. I'm just guessing here. Threesomes are a mistake. I had a threesome in the past with a guy and a girl (i was the other girl) there was no penetration involved but my current boyfriend is so upset about it. I'm like dude it's my past! Anyways, they always seem to ruin everything no matter what.
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A
male
reader, dirtball +, writes (16 March 2011):
 Yup, threesomes are bad news in most committed relationships. Mine went well at the time, but the fallout afterword was a pity. It changed how I felt about her, even though it was my idea. It sucks when you learn life lessons the hard way.
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A
male
reader, here4now +, writes (16 March 2011):
here4now is verified as being by the original poster of the questionGood advice, well maybe can say more. I never really had this in my head to begin with. I don't think about other women at all and it turns her off. She's had threesomes, but with a girlfriend and a random lucky guy. I thought I was doing right to try things this way.
Women are so cruel to men they don't realize. I'm just feeling this is the last of my self respect she's asking for. Maybe if she admitted its what she's after I might make something happen.
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A
female
reader, TEM +, writes (16 March 2011):
 The previous anonymous poster really has it right. I agree completely. People think these things can be casual and that there will be no emotional fallout. My personal opinion is that it is impossible to "share" someone you love with another. Your loved one is your special someone. Having a threesome degrades the relationship. They no longer feel as if they are special to you.
I imagine your girlfriend's insecurities came out and there was jealousy. You will have to reassure her that she is the only one for you, and that she is more special to you than anyone else on the planet. It's tough to put you in this position since it was her idea, but she is the one who is hurt right now, so she is the one that needs TLC.
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A
reader, anonymous, writes (16 March 2011): I've had said it before and I'll say it again, threesomes TOTALLY fuck realtionships, they always fuck relationships.
When will people get it into their heads that this stuff always leaves a trail of emotional misery! guilt, jealousy, sorrow, remorse and a whole heap of other negative crap.
And I will say this again too and I don't give a fuck what anyone else thinks: a threesome should always be done with 2 prostitutes! period! no harm can be done this way!!!
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