A
female
 ,
*mzie
writes:thers this blokes whos 25 and im 18. he says that he likes me and wants to get to know me. hes always takes me out and this has been going on for just over 6 weeks now. but hes still not mentioned a relationship! also friday just gone he let me down as we were ment to be going out that night but rang and cancelled at the last min because his car was making weird noises (which i know could be true coz i have heard it b4) but then he was like u wana come over and watch a dvd instead but he sounded like he didnt want me to, so i just said dont worry about it. then yesterday (sat) he rang me and asked if i wanted to go out on sunday night and i said yeah but i think that he might think hes got me roung his little finger and so might be taking me 4 granted coz i can see change in him towards me, like not trying as hard. so i text him about 20mins later saying 'sorry just remembered, im busy tomorrow washing my hair' and he just repiled with 'safe' and i havnt heard from him since. tht nite much later on i tried ringing him 2 see if i have left my watch at his but he didnt answer or text me. so now im thinking iv lost him. and now i dont know what to do coz we were ment to be going to this massive fireworks display next sunday but i feel like iv ruined it! i do want to talk 2 him again but i dont want to look like im running back! what should i do? just leave it? xxx
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female
reader, Amethyst  +, writes (29 October 2006):
 Ok, I'm not him of course, so I can't speak for him. But my observation (based on what you typed) was that he MIGHT have been trying to move more slowly than most other guys, so you wouldn't think he was just trying to "hit and run." He might not be talking to you anymore, because I know if I asked someone on a date, and they said, "Yeah!" But then a few minutes later said, "Oh, I forgot, I'm going to be washing my hair all day tomorrow, so I can't go." I'd be a bit more than upset. Since when has a shower lasted 24 hours?
It sounds to me like you're letting bad experiences in your past make you panic with him, and automatically make you assume the worst.
Don't run to him, just give him a call every so often about your watch, and then go to the fireworks display. Try and act like everything's fine, and you're interested in him, but not enough to come running back if something were to happen, and then he was to give you a chance to try again. Then, it really would go to his head.
Just play it cool, and only play a liiiittle hard to get, relationship wise. Sex wise, I always advise getting respect BEFORE the sex, because... no offense men, most guys lose motivation after getting what they want.
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