A
male
age
36-40,
*mtheman86
writes:I want my ex girlfriend back. She is the most amazing person I have ever been with and I need to know what some people think about my plan to win back her heart. I have two plans and I want your feed back to let me know if im a completely dissilusioned person or somewhat of a realist.1. I realize she dumped me because I was sort of needy and I feel that she felt too pressured to take the relationship as seriously as I was. Although things WERE serious a lot of the itme, I just htink she isnt at the point in her life where she can commit to something like that. So I figured i would try to "attract" her back by showing her that I have moved on and spending a bit of time to leave her wanting to see me more.2. This one is along the same lines as the first one, but a little different. I know for a fact that she isnt seeing other people right now and we are both very sexual beings. So I was thinking about inviting her to a party this weekend at my house. I am almost certain that she is going to be attracted to me because I have changed a lot about my appearance recently and because we are both still very much attracted to one another. Should I sleep with her in the event that the opportunity arrises? or should I hold back and leave her wanting more?I would really appreciate any help withthis, and I am not one to really try either of these types of things. But I love this girl and we had a great relationship and I dont think that I should just throw it out the window for good with out trying to rekindle. thanks for reading.
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male
reader, Imtheman86 +, writes (3 September 2008):
Imtheman86 is verified as being by the original poster of the questionI can't stop thinking about this girl. I have dreams about her everynight. I KNOW I need to change to make things work. I know I need to stop being clingy, its the downfall of every relationship ive ever been in . But this girl literally RIPPED my heart out and I think she did it because she counldnt find another way out. We went to a romantic getaway for 3 days in the mountains. It cost me about 1000 Dollars. As soon as we got back she dumped me with no reason. Her friends tell me she misses me. and I know she still has feelings for me. I promised myself I wouldnt communicate with her for a month. Its about halfway through week two and it is tearing me up inside. I cant stop thinking about it. I do other things, hang out with friends and have a good time, but it cant quell the pain in my heart. And on top of that i dream about her every night with out fail. Dreams about her wanting me back , and about waking up next to her only to wake up with no one there. I am seriously confused and hurt right now and I dont know what to do..
A
reader, anonymous, writes (3 September 2008): Good idea playing hard to get but be carefull it dunt work on all girls and holding back could give her the impresion that your over her [which your clearly not lol] But if you think that she dunt want to get back together mainly on the baisis that your goin to fast in your relationship dont you think telling her that youll take it slow and when SHES ready you can move on to more serious stuff. [dont forget to enforsize the "when shes ready" us girls like to be encharge lol! Best whishes x =]
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A
female
reader, anonymous, writes (3 September 2008): hi i am female and from a females point of view yes you have left her to her time but if you say she wasnt ready to take the relationship that 1 step further then you have to respect her decsion. you say you love her so tell her you do and you wil do owt it takes to win her back even if that means wait for her and you respect her decsions and you wil wait til she is ready. goodluck and hope i have been some help
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A
female
reader, placebo_mad  +, writes (3 September 2008):
if you go with option 2, she will feel used. don't do that. she will think you just want her back because of sex. My ex got me back but I asked if we had sych good sex would we have kept seeing each other and he said proberly not. you will get into a rut. 1st won't work either. If you want her back ber honest to her. Or maybe its juts ended? sometimes things end for the better. i know from exeperience I've been dumped and after thought no 1 would ever want me and that was it his the only guy i love then after a couple of months i was like "what was i thinking?!" give it a couple of months and see how you feel.
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A
male
reader, Straight Up1  +, writes (3 September 2008):
 The plans you are talking about... points out the reason why she broke up with you....needy
you are plotting a way to get her back but not talking about how you would change to meet her needs if she did take you back!! Again...you are concerned about YOUR needs... and not hers.
But to give you some advice on getting her back... invite her to the party... find 5 minutes to take her aside early at the party tell her how you understand that you were a bit needy and overwhelming at times... tell her that you still like her and how amazing she is...then walk away for the rest of the night and mingle and have a good time...trying to not pay attention to her.
keep this kind of attitude up for a while....every few days or once a week...flirting with her for a few minutes, so she knows you still like her.
After a while she may see that you have changed to meet her needs and come back looking for you.
If not... then she may have more reasons than you have been told as to why you arent together anymore!!
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