A
female
age
30-35,
anonymous
writes:I have been married for almost 2 yrs now, and I'm only 21. I love my husband dearly, and I would do anything for him. And there was a time when I knew that he fealt the same way about me. But now, well, I'm just not sure. Things seem to be falling apart around me and I need to know, am I overreacting? Or, is there really a cause for concern here?A little background info: We are both the same age. We run a hotel together, we manage all the day shifts and occasionally sleep at the hotel if we are training a new night clerk.I will do my best to list the events as chronologically acurate as possible.March, 2009I was checking our bank statements via my husbands e-mail. (He knows I have a password, and that I occasionally look up bills and such.)I accidently moved a statement to the trash folder, rather than the bank folder, and so I went to the trash folder to retrieve it. There I found hundreds (literally) of e-mails from some woman calling herself Symphony. This really upset me because Symphony is the password for all of my husbands online accts. The email were nothing really just her saying she missed him. But I never saw any from him to her.April, 2009 I was coming behind the desk at the hotel, and he started shutting down windows on the computer. When I got close enough to see the screen he hit the power button "by accident" and immediatley restarted the comp. Muttering about the comp freezing up and what not. About an hour later I was using the computer to check in a customer, when an IM popped up from 'DiRtYkItTy666' saying, "hey Baby"All i did was respond saying that my husband was not at the comp at the moment. And she asked me to tell him hello for her. I did.I confronted him about all of this. He explained that the e-mails were some chick that got ahold of his e-mail address some how and wouldn't leave him alone. and that dirtykitty666 was just some one he talked to occasionally when he was wrking nightshifts, but that their conversations were never sexual. I told him how uncomfortable it all made me and I let it go.May 29, 2009(his birthday)I went into the livingroom to get a headstart on his birthday stuff, and he was at the computer desk. I walked up behind him to give him a hug. As I bent down to hug him he got an invite to watch bunny(something)'s webcam. He laughed it off and was like, "stupid pop-ups" But the screenname was highlighted and blinking in his yahoo messenger friends list..Again I confronted him, and he swears he doesn't know how she got on his friends list.June, 2009He went to go take a shower, and left his phone plugged in the charger in our bedroom. I decided to go to bed and when I crawled under the blanket, I heard his phone go off. Thinking it might be some one from work, I picked up the phone and saw he just recieved a text message. Now, just to be clear I did not intenionally read this text, even after all of the above incidents. His LG Incite displays texts in the same format as a chat. You can see what has been said back and forth. The text he received was role playing, and apparently who ever he was roleplaying with "jst came". After that I read every single text message on his phone, on purpose. The worst part was that this females number was saved under his best friends name. I know his best friend, and it was not him or his number. I promptly ripped the phone charger out, marched into the bathroom and threw his cellphone into the shower at him. I then went to bed and locked the door.That was a week ago and I have not spoken to my husband since. I cannot bear to hear him lie to me anymore. I don't know what to do. I don't know what I did to make him turn away, to seek attention somewhere else. Up until all of this we had, what I considered, a very fulfilling sex-life. And we had never had any problems.I was totally blindsided by all of this. Help Please.
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reader, anonymous, writes (2 July 2009): This is verified as being by the original poster of the questionWell, I give up.Last night I found out he was texting that girl again. He had her saved under my little brothers name in his phone. Same thing happened, he was in the shower, text tone goes off, it's my little brother saying that he is staying at his dads this weekend. Except that my little brother lives with me, and was in the next room. Turns out my husband has been cheating on me with a 16 yr old.
A
reader, anonymous, writes (23 June 2009): This is verified as being by the original poster of the questionWell, I confornted him, yet again about all of it.
He apologized. Which, means he's acknowledging that he messed up in the first place.
But, no matter what I ask, he insists that there is nothing wrong with our relationship, that he's perfectly happy.
But, if he were so happy why would he have done all of this? When I ask him that questions he just gets quiet.
I love him so much, but I am just so lost...
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A
reader, anonymous, writes (23 June 2009): This is verified as being by the original poster of the questionWell, I confornted him, yet again about all of it.
He apologized. Which, means he's acknowledging that he messed up in the first place.
But, no matter what I ask, he insists that there is nothing wrong with our relationship, that he's perfectly happy.
But, if he were so happy why would he have done all of this? When I ask him that questions he just gets quiet.
I love him so much, but I am just so lost...
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A
female
reader, anonymous, writes (16 June 2009): I am married, and consider this to be cheating. He is lying to you about it, and continuing with his behaviour even though he knows you know about it. To me, this is quite grave, and grounds for divorce, but you need to consider whether you think he will repent, be totally transparent and forthright, and change his behaviour.
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A
female
reader, broken1234  +, writes (16 June 2009):
Hes clearly been lying and that definatly does not help build a strong marriage! You need to confront him about this, I am hoping he hasnt taken it past messaging yet because its those types of men that usually do eventually and you really dont want that! Figure out from him what this relationship means to him because right now hes not giving any indication that it means much at all. You are also both very young which could be tough on him. He will need to play a big part here pretty much the only part, in getting this relationship back to solid ground! Good Luck!
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A
male
reader, anonymous, writes (16 June 2009): This 'Symphony' sounds very suspicious and I think the most crucial and important thing you have to focus on finding out about.
As for the rest, he seems to have a thing for dirty textchatting and roleplaying, webcam things and such. I won't call any of them any kind of relationships or such - but he's still hiding it from you.
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