A
female
age
51-59,
anonymous
writes:I have been with my partner for 8 years and we have small children. I met someone else 8 months ago and have been seeing them. I told my partner I had feelings for the other person but she does not know how much. The other woman has asked for me to leave my partner so I have put the house on the market and we are in separate bedrooms. We still do family things together with the kids but are not having sex or sleeping together. the other woman gets SO angry when I do something with the partner as a family that she threatens to leave me. She wants me to tell my partner about she and I. My partner knows about the feelings but why rub her face in it? My partner hates the other woman. Me telling her that I still she her would destory her. I have told the other woman this but she says she is tired of being second best and no longer wants to speak to me because I have lied to her. What am I to do? Reply to this Question
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Fancy yourself as an agony aunt? Add your answer to this question! A
female
reader, anonymous, writes (6 July 2008): I speak from the point of view of once being 'the other woman' not something I am proud of by the way. I say dump your additional relationship. It has already soured in my opinion and I think you would never trust each other either. I am glad I ended it with the married man because it was a relationship built on a lie - and that will never ever work. You obviously have feelings for your partner and mother of your children so if I can give you any advice it is to make a more wholesome, content and loving relationship for yourself with your partner if you can. At least try. You cannot try whilst cheating. Plan some really lovely time away with family to distract you and simply give her up. Change your mobile and block her email. I am happier now for not seeing the married guy because he never made me satisfied and I knew I was hurting a lot of people. It will eat at both of you. If you try and your relationship then fails at least you know you did try. You are then free to do the right thing by the children and in time meet someone else. Surely this feels like the best thing?? This other woman knows what she was getting into and has no rights. How she reacts to being dumped though..... that is something you need to consider.
A
female
reader, lexilou  +, writes (6 July 2008):
 Tell her she knew you were attached when she met you, you are splitting up from your partner and destroying the family unit, yet she is still not satisfied. I think you are making the wrong decision. She will control you forever by the sound of it, not allowing you to have any contact with your ex when you finally split and probably intefere with your relationship with your children. Dump her, try and make your relationship work with your partner if she will have you back, or at least move out and choose your next partner more carefully x
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A
male
reader, eddie  +, writes (6 July 2008):
 Wat can you do? Stop being an inconsiderate cheater.
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