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The spark in gone...Is there a future for us?

Tagged as: Dating, Faded love<< Previous question   Next question >>
Question - (25 July 2006) 3 Answers - (Newest, 26 July 2006)
A female , anonymous writes:

Hi,

Been with my boyfriend a little over 2 years but the spark has gone...does that mean theres no future for us or just that we need to work to get the spark back?

Thanks x

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A reader, anonymous, writes (26 July 2006):

i've been with my partner for two years now, and just about at the one year mark, things started dying down, and we hit a slow period where i thought the relationship we'd built just stopped going anywhere. we weren't growing at all anymore and the sparks ended. i thought we needed to break up, but then i found out that that's completely normal. because true love isn't all about the butterflies, the sparks, or the gitty feelings you get in their presence. that's just like what the last writer said. that's the "holiday period." true love is when all that dies down, and you can't imagine your life apart from each other. so before you decide that maybe you need to break up because all the sparks are gone, re-evaluate your connection and give it some time. maybe you'll find that you realize that even though you may not feel the sparks like before, you feel even more attached to him emotionally. that's how i felt, and now it's been the best two years of my life.

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A male reader, Mr S United Kingdom +, writes (26 July 2006):

Mr S agony auntThe first thing that you must ask yourself is do you love your partner more or less than when you first met. Often a relationship settles down after what I will call a holiday period, which funnily enough is about two years, (just like when you are on holiday you are happy and content and you are on a high). You get a high from your early relationship, your sex life is ‘Yes please and all the time’, unfortunately; this holiday time runs out and in a loving relationship the love deepens and your commitment to each other increases. This is normal however many people think that something is wrong with there relationship the spark is missing.

If you love your partner and you think that your relationship in a slump or just getting boring then think of what made your early times together fun and try to repeat it. Talk of what excites’ you both and then do that together, both in and out of the bedroom.

However, if you think the deep love has gone and you don’t love your partner any more then you should discuss it together and perhaps try a separation for a while to see if inn fact the love has gone. Unfortunately if it has then you should face up to the fact that you have no deep feelings for your partner, that’s not to say that you no longer care, but if the deep love has gone you should split up and start again the alternative is to be in an unfulfilling relationship that could go on for years. This will cause you nothing but grief suffering and pain, and before you know it you will be old and resenting life with someone you have learned to despise.

Good Luck I hope it works out for the best

To your self be true

Mr S

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A female reader, chazx United Kingdom +, writes (26 July 2006):

chazx agony auntHello Sweetie

it doesnt mean your relationship has to be over because you spark has gone but you do need to get it back so try and be spontanious and do different things seperate and together and try rebuild what ya had and see if the spark returns.

try spending more time together talking more.

try to re-enact your first date/first time you met.(makes it spontanious)

Good Luck i hope it comes back.

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