A
male
age
41-50,
anonymous
writes:My girlfriend and I split up after almost 2 years. We've split up before, but this time seems different. Basically, I left her alone for almost 3 weeks the first time before I tried again, and left for a week this time. But she has abandonment issues, and I was the one person who never should have left her. She doesn't seem to have any more anger towards me about what happened, and she started seeing someone almost right after our split, and before I tried to get us back together. She says that shes moved on. She believed, and I still believe that we are soulmates, and meant to be together. Everyone always knew that we were great together. After the first time we broke up I started putting money away to buy her an engagement ring, which I told her in one of our recent talks. She said she would think about getting back together, but no guarantee, and if so it would take time. She feels like I should be seeing someone in the meantime, but also said that if I did it would upset her. She gave me a second chance after the first split and I blew it. She said all she wanted was for me to ask her to be my girlfriend again, but I never did, because I felt like I needed to feel like we were both on the same page so I could ask her, but every time I felt like I could, we would fight again and I felt like I had to start building that trust again. Shes never given a guy a second chance before. I sent her a long message the other day expressing a lot of what I felt, and told her I was going to give her space, and to contact me when shes ready. But I feel like the longer we're apart the harder it will be to get back together. I feel like I just need one more chance to make everything right. How can I fix this? Is there any chance at all? How can tell if she still has those feelings for me?
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female
reader, Denise32 +, writes (30 December 2010):
 I am really sorry to hear about your dilemma.
Its unfortunate that she started seeing someone else right after your most recent breakup. It certainly is unreasonable of her to want to see others, yet be upset if you do. What's sauce for the goose is surely sauce for the gander and all that. Especially since she told you she's moving on......She does sound rather confused, and I imagine she does still have feelings for you.
Well, you have done what you could. You sent her a long and honest message speaking of your feelings and telling her to contact you again when she's ready........I think now you'll just have to see if she responds, and if so, what she has to say.
The only other thing I can add is this: do you think you can overcome the issues you were arguing about? If so, all well and good. But if not, it may result in the same cycle of getting together and then splitting once more.
I wish I could be of more comfort.
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