A
female
age
30-35,
*kylove14
writes:I have a bit of a stereotypical problem here. I kind of like my one of my friend's boyfriends. I know it's cliche! Before they started going out, I had acknowledged he was cute amd nice, but now that they are dating and all that, what was first a cursory glance quickly became a crush. I think it's got more to do with that 'want what you can't have' off-limits deal than anything. Don't get me wrong, he's sweet and everything, but its her boyfriend! I feel horrible every time I get around him, about how I get all giddy and weird; even worse, I think she knows I like him. She's fine whenever he's not around, happy and smiling and joking with me like always, but when I come around both her and him, she's always so guarded around me when he's around, too, like I'm gonna pull something with him--I don't even want that!To make matters worse, I think the guy is flirting with me. I don't know if it's my hormonal self causing me to see things and read into him simply being nice, or if he really is flirting. We have a class together and when we talk, he smiles at me a lot and gives me this look--I don't know how to describe it. Eager, almost, or something like that. It almost reminds me of the look he gives my friend. I'm by far no expert when it comes to dating, so I'm wondering several things. First, obviously, is how do I get over it? Second, do you think she know that I like him, or am I being paranoid? And if she does, how do I get across to her that I'm not after her boyfriend? Because let's face it--even if she knows, and I know she knows, its not exactly a topic you can casually bring into a conversation.Nextly, is he flirting with me, or am I delusional? And if he is, how do I go about sorting *that* mess??Thanks for anyone who gets this and is willing to help me sort out this tangled melodrama!
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am I being paranoid, best friend, crush, flirt Reply to this Question
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female
reader, skylove14 +, writes (8 April 2010):
skylove14 is verified as being by the original poster of the questionYea, I understand both of your points; trust me, I **don't!!!** want to steal her boyfriend. Thinking about it makes me sick to my stomach and guilty as all getout. All I wanna know is how to get over this insane little infatuation without going through the drama. I am very loyal to my friends, and I would die before I betrayed her, but hormones are hormones and it seems the more I try to fight it, the worse it gets. *sigh* What do I do???
A
reader, anonymous, writes (8 April 2010): Friends should always come before guys. If you value her friendship, then you will find another guy and leave your friend's bf alone. Don't let a guy get between you and your friend- it's not worth it.
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A
male
reader, Mr. Luciano +, writes (8 April 2010):
i think you should realize that this is your friend's bf.and how would you feel if it was the other way around?i think you should just try and focus on your friendship with your friend.she probably knows,and she seems to be ok with it.so that shows how much she cares to still be your friend...i'm pretty sure you can get boys too!..so go hunting! lol!..i don't know if that's ne help but i tried..goodluck! =D
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