A
male
age
51-59,
anonymous
writes:hi, i feel very bad last year i got interested in one of my colleagues at work she is a very nice person i started to approach her and felt deeply in love with her (I am 39 years old, and this is the first time to love at all in my life) she made me discover very nice feelings inside me, i started to take care of her try to support as much as i could give her all the love and care she never had in her entire life untill i caught her attention and she said that what i was doing caught her attention as no one ever cared that much for her before and the relation went very nice every moment my love to her increased more and more till i noticed she was talking to someone when i asked her who was that she said he was a friend of her friend and she is middeling between them than i noticed that the telephone calls to him increased and started to limit our contact together after working hours i did than my first mistake which was digging in more to get answers and i confranted her with my findings, and she told me that she feels more for him than she did to me and she is sorry and we had to cut our relation i tried to convince her otherwise but no way than we kept contact with each other and i felt she still cares and when ever she found me not showing interst she contacted me she even told me that she only felt comfortable and secure with me, than i did the seconad mistake which ruined everything completely, i started more investigations on the guy and found that he is married and had a son and had no intention to leave his wife i told her that and she replied she already knows that but he and his wife are not getting along they only staying together because of their son but they are separated physically.... i didn't buy that so i asked a friend of mine to make contact with him and you know what he got intersted in her and started to exchange telephone calls together he even asked to see her and they met and chatted he even asked her to go too his flat and have sex together he told her that he can't live without his family and can only be faithful 65% i told the woman i love that he was seeing someone else and he was just playing with her (and that is my mistake) she asked me to contact this other one and speak to her i did and on the following day she told me that she was aware of everthing as he told her but he was just getting along with the other woman to know how she knew him and some of the details i told her is not true at all and i was just making it up to ruin his figure and she said she does not want to deal with me anymore except to the limits of the job and that i am the meanest guy she ever met if just out of jealousy tried to ruin the reputation of nice respectful guy like him.... i appologized to her to try to ease things between us as i cannot afford to loose her completely.i love her i really do and i feel a lot of agony being away from her:As a man i love her and cannot imagine myself touching anyone at all except her coz she taught me what is love and the feelings i got with her cannot be found with any other woman when ever she just put her hand on me it seemed as if it was a magnet that attracts my soul and every living sense in me towards her to feel and enjoy her touch more.I care for her very much used to keep track of her medicine and always made sure she had it in time used to take care of every single detail of her life she had been suffering a lot before, i don't want her to suffer anymore that is why i checked on the guy because i am afraid he hurts her, and you know what he was the one who lied to her because every single call between him and my set up friend i was there and listened to it even when they meeet i am there on the phone (i call her and she opens the line so i can hear what he was saying) even more he got a new mobile no. and told my friend to use the new number as he is facing problems with his wife (liar)the problem was with the woman i love and he is palying with as she sensed there is something going on and she is jealous person so he got afraid she checks his mobile.tell me waht to do i want to win her back and care for her to the end of mylife how to gain her trust at least without mentioning the other guy or telling her the truth help me my friends i die every moment away from her teach what ever trick to win her back please
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male
reader, Richard_EMids  +, writes (25 October 2007):
 Here is my perspective on what you have described: It seems to me that all you will have to do is wait - because this guy is never going to succeed is he ? He makes so many mistakes - takes so many risks - he is going to get caught out. All you have to do is wait - and behave nicely and normally towards her. As time goes by she will see the reasons for your actions. While you are waiting, you should try to find out what she likes/what she is interested in. Then after say, one month buy some tickets for what she likes - and invite her. Try to make the tickets on a night she wouldn't normally see this guy. Good luck.
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