A
female
age
30-35,
anonymous
writes:I know I know, you all are probably completely sick of them by now, and with good reason. But I honestly would not ask this if I didn't feel like there wasn't a legitimate reason for doing so. So with that being said, let me explain my situation to you:Here's a little background info for starters. I'm fifteen and in my Sophomore (year 10) of high school. A couple of weeks ago, I started to realize that I was developing feelings for one of my teachers. He's 35, married with two children. So this is my first year having him, and over the course of the semester we've started to get to know each other more and more as time progresses. We spend the majority of our first class together (I have him for two classes in a row) just arguing about current stuff going on politically in America, what sides we agree with and whatnot. Anyway, while we're doing this sometimes the class tends to get a little rowdy, and whenever he feels like he can't concentrate on our argument or isn't focused because of them he'll yell at them. It's usually along the lines of "[insert name of student here], can't you see I'm trying to have a discussion here? Why do you have to be so loud? Can't you just sit in your desk and be quiet?" And I don't know, I guess that just makes me feel like he's trying to give me all his attention. He treats me like an adult when he speaks to me, not acting like he's arguing with a "child" so to speak. Most teachers talk down to us, which makes me admire him even more.So that's something that happens normally. There's been a couple of times where I've really really thought he was flirting with me. Like this one time when I sat in his chair at his desk, and he came in and just starting to rock the chair while I was sitting in it and reading the newspaper. After awhile I looked up at him and asked "Why didn't you make me move?" and he replied "Because you looked comfortable and I didn't want to make you get up." Today towards the end of lunch he pulled up a chair to my table with all my friends, and as soon as I turned to see him sitting next to me, he started grinning like a mad man. Well anyway we started talking, and earlier in class we were talking about morality compared to what makes us happy on earth (or more accurately, sin), and he made the comment that I "Wanted to have my cake and eat it too", like I want to be a moral person but still be sinful. So as he was getting up from the table he says to my best friend "You know, as much as we're different, we're a lot alike." I'm almost positive that's what he was referring to, which I take to mean he's tempted easily...by what, I don't know.So those are just a couple of situations that I feel are examples of his everyday behavior towards me. Of course there's other things, like catching him looking at me (but I really feel like you have to have something else other than this to back up your thoughts of him having feelings for you, teachers look at all their students), but it's not just that. At lunch, when he's sitting at the teachers' table and I walk up to the front to get a napkin or something, he'll look at me as I walk upfront and say something really cheeky as I pass by, and I'll laugh and say something back. But when that happens, *all* the other teachers look at me and him like it's strange that we talk to each other like that. They don't say anything, but they glare. And I just don't see why. Heck, even all the other students looked at me funny when he came to sit at my table today, but I didn't see anything wrong with it.Oh, and I'd just like to point out that I do *not* feel like I'm in love with him. It's more of a sense of admiration, as well as lust. Sorry this took so long to read, but any help that's given will be greatly appreciated. Thanks so much.
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best friend, flirt, my teacher Reply to this Question
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reader, anonymous, writes (13 December 2008): Nothing new here I'm afraid. You sound and write mature, and your teacher think's your a good sensible student. Yes he may speak to you different, because you don't seem like a little kid like the others. I had teachers like that, it just means their gratefull, not to have another idiot in their class.
No flirtation or romantic feelings can be read into any of his behaviour or his remarks. You like him, you lust after him, so you see what you want to see, just like many other students that we have had here on Dear Cupid.
There can be no romantic interactions between a teacher and their student. It is forbidden. He is a school to do a job, and that is to teach you well enough so you can pass exams. You are at school to listen, behave and learn everything you can. You are not there to pick up a man, or wonder if your teacher has any romantic feeling for you. If he ever touches you, or makes a direct romantic pass, then come back and tell us, or better yet tell your parents or the head of school. There is nothing romantic in his actions, yes he maybe acting a little familiar with you, especially since you are still a young kid and get funny ideas. I'm sure he would be horrified if he knew that you were taking this for flirtation. Teachers that make passes and flirt with young girls are sick freaks and should be avoided at all costs...
Please take a look at these these links, they just might help...
http://www.dearcupid.org/question/why-falling-for-your-teacher-is-never-good.html
http://www.dearcupid.org/question/my-teacher-wrote-in-my-year-book-that.html
http://www.dearcupid.org/question/i-want-to-seduce-my-30-yr-old.html
A
female
reader, Amber jello +, writes (13 December 2008):
no worries, he just seems like an uncle, or elder brother. My brother always acts that way with me. Just dont ever say to ANYONE that you think he flirts with you, unless you want him fired, which from what you said, I don't think you do.
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A
female
reader, piggytoes1818 +, writes (13 December 2008):
Ok this is against the law stop. He probably is just flirting a little but a lot of teachers do this its just funny. Don't take it too seriously because it can get messy, and he can get fired. Just keep him as a friend or a role model.
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