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Still have thoughts of my first love even though I'm married now!

Tagged as: Three is a crowd<< Previous question   Next question >>
Question - (1 February 2011) 2 Answers - (Newest, 2 February 2011)
A female United Kingdom age 36-40, anonymous writes:

hi, long story short. I'm married to a man i do love, but i cant stop thinking about my ex, my first love. ive always loved him but i fell in love with my husband and forgot about my ex for a while, but now i cant stop thinking about. I dream about him every night and day dream about him every second i get. i live in a different country but i go home often and the thought of bumping into him makes me feel sick. im scared ill get drunk and tell him.

i dont know what to do

View related questions: drunk, fell in love, my ex

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A male reader, eddie85 United States +, writes (2 February 2011):

eddie85 agony auntI think as time goes on preoccupation with the memory of your ex will fade.

You also need to ask yourself why you aren't with your ex. As humans, we have a tendency to remember only the good times. When you have a positive thought about your ex, try to recall a time where he let you down or how you weren't compatible. Perhaps if you write a personal letter to yourself about how you met and how your relationship progressed and ultimately how it ended will take some of the thoughts off of your ex and put you more firmly into reality. Once you realize that there is a reason why you are ex's will help you get over this thought pattern.

I think once you get out of the "fantasy" part and back into reality, you'll be able to give your husband the love and attention he deserves.

I certainly would NOT tell your husband about your ex. Nothing good will come out of it and only bad drama will result.

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A male reader, df30 United States +, writes (2 February 2011):

If it bugs you you need to tell him the whole truth, if you can live with feeling "fake".

Otherwise hold it in I suppose I would be hurt bad if my gf ever said that tho especially if she was my wife.

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