A
female
age
41-50,
anonymous
writes:HelloCan anyone offer any advice or in the same boat? I have a confidence problem that is really starting to annoy me now, as I think it is jeopordising my chances at relationships!! Ok it's not a problem with friends/work colleagues/people I dont romantically like, I am very chatty and outgoing and can hold a conversation no problem BUT as soon as a guy I like talks to me I go stupid! Seriously it may sound silly but it truly is annoying now. If I like a guy and he comes to talk to me I just can't say hardly anything only mutter stupid things! my personality doesn't come accross, i have no wit to give, i just dont know what to say ... then if i can speak i rabbit on and on about rubbish!! ah what is wrong with me, i will Never get a datw with a guy i like if i carry on like this! I cringe! Then I always think next time i'll be ok, but i get worse! How can i stop this?? does anyone have any confidence tips or anything? I get asked on dates by guys i'm not into, prob because i can chat and laugh with them, or am i aiming to high for these good looking guys (in my opinion) that make me act stupid!! any advice would be great!
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male
reader, anonymous, writes (29 December 2009): You aim for guys better looking than you? That would be kind of understandable. Same feeling happens with guys and better looking girls, except guys have to do the approaching most of the time. I think guys have a higher likelyhood of wanting to move up the ladder if the girl isn't as good looking as he is. So it may pay to have more focus on things other than looks.
A
male
reader, anonymous, writes (29 December 2009): Why do you loose your confidence when you are around someone you're romantically interested in ?? Get rid of the "fear of rejection" factor. You can be chatty kathy with other's because you don't fear rejection, so you can be yourself. You're NOT stupid,,you're just afraid he will say "na, no thanks", so you cover up by acting a bit goofy. Long as you don't act empty headed, being a bit nervous is something a guy can accept. You do realize,, they ALL look the same in the dark right?? just imagine them all that way. (don't worry it happens to guys who really like a girl too!)
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