A
female
age
30-35,
*iss Misunderstood
writes:I love my boyfriend dearly.. but sometimes he just makes me feel so invisible. Like he'll invite me over every day we are able to see one another just about, but almost every time I visit him he will just completely ignore me for hours playing his Xbox. I'll hug him and tell him how much I love him and he hardly even responds to me.. when he's not playing video games we have a great time together, so I wouldn't think he would be trying to avoid me or anything, and if he was why would he invite me to see him so often and then completely ignore me? :( It's very painful to me.. I've tried asking him if he wanted to do something else but he doesn't ever really want to do anything but play on his xbox most days.. and also whenever his friend is over, I might as well be knocked off the face of this Earth.. his friend will pay more attention to me than my own boyfriend when he's around.. and I don't understand.. we were celebrating Easter together yesterday and his friend was over and I got so depressed that I nearly found myself crying.. I had to give up nearly everything for him just so I could make sure that he was happy and trusted me, which I don't mind at all, I just wish that sometimes he would give a little bit back in return. :(
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female
reader, Miss Misunderstood +, writes (1 May 2011):
Miss Misunderstood is verified as being by the original poster of the question Well thankfully for the last couple of days we have been spending lots of time together and really having lots of fun with one another. :) I just don't think he knew the true extent of my love for him.. and a few days ago after him having a really stressful day, he laid down on the couch and I sat beside him and listened as he told me all that was bothering him and I comforted him and gave him some advice that I thought would really help him out.. and believe it or not, it really did. :) He was so happy and seemed for the first time in a long time to love me as much as I truly loved him.. gosh that was one of the best feelings in the world. Lately our relationship has been going fantastic and I am so very grateful. Thanks to all of you guys for your advice. It means alot.
A
female
reader, mizz.butterflies +, writes (25 April 2011):
 omg i just told u what to do but u still dont get it???Men do not respond to words. It's like ur FORCING him to spend time with you...don't u get it that he has taken u for granted??? he doesnt treat u well and what do u do? U STAY RIGHT THERE complaining like a little kitty. is that ur definition of an independent woman??? Please. Get "why men love bitches". U dont have to be rude to him. next time he will get on his console simply wish him fun playing his video games but u'll go do something YOU like. After a few times he will realise HE IS GONNA LOSE U IF HE KEEPS ACTING LIKE AN ASS.if he asks to see u just say sure id like to see u but i would like to have fun, and not play video games at home,but if thats what u wanna do today thats ok i'll see u some other time..BE LESS AVAILABLE. BE MYSTERIOUS. AS U ALREADY OBSERVED, NAGGING DOESNT GET U ANYWHERE.
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A
female
reader, anonymous, writes (25 April 2011): My ex was exactly the same as this (notice the word ex here). It isn't worth staying with him if he cannot change. I'm all for talking things over and compromising, but at the end of the day, if things don't change then what is the point in you being with him if it is making you unhappy?
Even though it is hard to leave someone that you love, sometimes you just have to do it for yourself. You will find someone else, and if you don't then you can enjoy the single life for a while.
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A
female
reader, Miss Misunderstood +, writes (25 April 2011):
Miss Misunderstood is verified as being by the original poster of the questionI try to tell him that it bothers me when he plays his xbox without paying me hardly any attention at all but then he says "You don't support me." because he's big on video games and has begun collecting old game systems and stuff or if he does stop he tries to make me feel guilty about it by saying "I quit playing my xbox because you made me.." or "There are you happy now?" and goes and lays on his bed and tells me to tell him whatever I needed to say that was so important and I tell him, "Well.. I didn't really want to say anything in particular.. I just want to talk to you, and spend time with you know? I love you. :)" And after that we usually do talk and spend time with one another for an hour or so.. but it's really hard to get to that stage most days. We always spend at least an hour or so doing things together, but then the other 5 or 6 hours are spent with me almost completely ignored.. I just don't understand. I never do these kinds of things to him. When he's around, he is constantly the center of my attention no matter what. I can't help it, I just love him so dearly.. the way he's acting.. is it normal? Is there anyway to improve our relationship where he will seem to truly love me again?
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A
female
reader, mizz.butterflies +, writes (25 April 2011):
ugh if ur bf wants to play xbox simply say "hun,i see ur busy playing ur games,i'll go get my hair done" and leave his house.
next time ur on the phone ask him if he plans on playin xbox if u come over.if he says yes just dont go.
HE MISTREATS U BECAUSE U ALLOW HIM TO DO SO.
so do what i say,its gonna be a wake up call to him!
men dont respond to words.they respond to DISTANCE AND ACTIONs.
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A
female
reader, anonymous, writes (24 April 2011): i used to have a boyfriend like that and in the end he didn't really care about me. Im not saying that this guy doesn't, because there is a chance that he does, but you shouldn't keep going on with this relationship without knowing. U need to stand up to your boyfriend and tell him how you feel and if he really cares then he'll chance and if not then he didn't deserve you anyways. Tell him that you don't feel like he likes you when he plays his xbox and when hes with his friend and make sure that you pick a good time and that you say it seriously so he knows u are serious about it. Hopefully he cares and he will change but if not then he wasn't worth it
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