A
female
age
41-50,
anonymous
writes:I've just divorced my husband of 20 years. He is selfish and unkind. Then Im lucky to meet this man 18 years older than me. He helps me to get my life on track. He makes me feel loved and wanted which I've never felt before. However I feel sick sometimes when I make love to him. I feel like I am making love with my dad. Am I abnormal? Please advise.
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female
reader, Blakforst  +, writes (30 March 2008):
 Maybe you feel sick cos you aren't actually 'making love' with him per say, but rather, just having plain sex? There is a difference there you know?
A
female
reader, anonymous, writes (21 March 2008): No I think you are very normal. Eighteen years is a lot. I am sure I would feel as you do. I think you need to reconsider what kind of relationship you want with this man. Maybe friend would be better than lover. Do not tell him all the reasons though - you don't need to kill his ego.
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A
female
reader, Ask oldersister  +, writes (19 March 2008):
 The age difference alone shouldn't make you feel sick, but if you are in the age group you indicated, this would put him around 70yrs old. Maybe it's his personality or something that is like your Dad or that you are actually with an older man, literally. If you are sexually "turned off" by him, I don't see how this is going to work unless you have hypnotherapy so I think you need to determine what it is exactly that's making you sick before you jump ship.
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A
female
reader, Annalisa + ♥, writes (19 March 2008):
 He is not your dad, so that thought is absurd.
Do you love him?
...Is it possible you're just with him as a rebound from divorce, because he's been so supportive?
Maybe your love for him is more as a friend and your disgut is more to do with getting physical because you feel like you owe him?
Just a thought, I hope you don't take it personally.
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A
male
reader, Stroller +, writes (19 March 2008):
 Some girls like older men and the whole who's-your-Daddy aspect of this, but in order to fall into that category the guy has to be at least 50% older than you and there's nothing intrinsically wrong when one partner is twice the age of the other.It's impossible for me to say for sure, but the way I read this is that your concerns are just a symptom of the relationship somehow not being right in other ways. I guess maybe the age thing is just something tangible you can hold on to. I think you're on the rebound and you need to take some space alone for a while, as a single girl. I think that if you stay with this guy you'll just hurt him in the end - you're just with him because he's nice, not because you have feelings for him.
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A
female
reader, Kiss Dont Miss +, writes (19 March 2008):
Maybe the thing is that you don't have enough feelings for that man? I know several couples where one of partners is older than the other, and it's pretty ok with them. Try to sort out your feelings, I mean gratitude and affection.Take care,kissdontmiss.com
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