A
female
age
36-40,
*ecret3
writes:Okay, so I started dating this guy almost 4 months ago, and this has been the most different relationship I have ever been in. He likes his space and doesn't like to see me often because he said that ruined his past relationships... with seeing them all the time. Sometimes I make plans and last minute they are always broken... BUT the thing is, I get all paranoid, but then everything ends up checking out in the end. He hasn't been in a relationship for a while, so I keep trying to give him the benefit of the doubt by thinking that he isn't used to being in one just yet. I have met his friends, have gone to special occasions with him, have gone shopping, have dinner with his parents frequently, and we talk alot throughout the day. So, i'm not being kept hidden or anything. Online it is known that we are a couple, and when girls leave comments, he says he met an amazing girl referring to myself.But then I still feel weird about things. When I come over we talk alot, and watch movies and stuff...but then he sometimes goes online and plays games when I am sitting right there. And chats with other people, his friends that are girls even. Why talk to them when I am sitting right there? Like I said, we don't see each other often, so idk why he feels the need to do this while I am there. And don't get me wrong, I play videogames too, and go online...but it partially ruined my past relationship. I focused too much on that. But I learned. I know you can't change someone..and I'm not trying to, but I wish he could understand that being in a relationship is more than just seeing eachother once in a while, and that's it. I sometimes feel more like a convenience. :(And one last thing, I used to be really bad with snooping, so I am trying to refrain... but he left his phone in the room and I looked through it quick. I didn't even read messages or anything, I just looked through pictures and I saw in the 'saved' folder a picture of a girl in a dress in a dressing room. At first I felt upset, but I said nothing. I know some guys don't think sometimes (you know what I mean boys!) about deleting things. I feel like it's old, and he just didn't notice kind of thing. I'm glad it wasn't something worse. It could have just been one of his friends asking if he liked the dress. He has some close female friends. It was just a thumbnail after all, I didn't even click. He also had funny face pics of some guy friends..so who knows? I'm just trying to be be understanding, and not psycho... but I can't tell what is going on. I just feel like I compromise more than he does. But I do like him alot... I just don't know.Sorry if i confused anyone else :P Reply to this Question
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Fancy yourself as an agony aunt? Add your answer to this question! A
female
reader, BBee  +, writes (10 October 2010):
Sweetie: Don't second guess yourself. If your telling yourself something isn't right...YOUR RIGHT. You need to tell your boyfriend how you are feeling. (Ignored, hurt, lonely, sad etc.) If he is concerned and wants to listen, he will talk to you to make things better. If he gets mad, too bad. (Say see ya) If you don't have 100% trust in a relationship hun, then you have nothing. That 100% is a chance we take. We make the decision to trust the person we are with. When that trust gets broken we end up heart broken. Understanding, Communication and Trust are three important elements for any relationship. Hopes this helps. Trust youself.
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