A
male
age
41-50,
anonymous
writes:I am a young looking 32 year old single male who has never dated. I have lived independently for almost 10 years. Recently my mother has taken an interest in my love life and asked why I haven't found someone yet. I guess this reopens the personal demons I have been battling with for years and had all but forgotten in recent times, having given up on myself. I haven't as much as approached a female in a sexual/romantic/flirtatious manner. I suspect there is more to my difficulties than merely a lack of confidence or self esteem. I've always found it difficult to engage with people on an emotional level and find informal conversation hard to decipher. Formal conversation tends to be guided by a set of strict rules and thereby more straight forward. I also struggle to understand humour. Whenever I partake in social events I feel disassociated from everyone else and there in body not spirit. I prefer focussing on the activity. My social difficulties make it hard to form friendships let alone romantic liasons with the opposite gender. I guess my question to readers is: any suggestions where to go from here? Can someone learn empathy and understanding of others, or is it something that has to be sensed and beyond my mental capability? I have been encased in this self-centred cocoon since early childhood.
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male
reader, anonymous, writes (26 September 2010):
Thank you for your kind reply. I'll try to act on your suggestions.
A
female
reader, anonymous, writes (26 September 2010): I wonder if it's worth having a chat with your GP - I'm wondering if there might be a possibility that you may have something like Asperger's Syndrome? You could ask for a referral to a psychaitrist/psychologist to explore this possibility/your difficulties in relating to others. Whether you have a particular diagnosis or not, I think your GP would be able to give you advice on sources of info/people that might be able to help you work on your skills in understanding others. You're not the only person who feels this way. Good luck :)
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