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So scared my one-time friend is going to trash my relationship...

Tagged as: The ex-factor<< Previous question   Next question >>
Question - (2 January 2006) 2 Answers - (Newest, 2 January 2006)
A female , *randi134 writes:

OK, this is kind of a complicated story, but here goes. I moved from a big city to a small town. I met this girl we'll call "becky". i didn't hang with her much but the guy she was dating had the total hots for me. I want to make it clear the he came after me and one night we shared a very special kiss and that same night the guy broke up with her to be with me. We fell in love and were together for three years. During the three years Becky and I became freinds again and got over the whole kissing incident. She had met someone new and was engaged to him, a boy named "andy". However, during the time I thought we were friends, she had another one of her friends pretend to be my friend and got close to me only to be after my boyfriend. He ended up cheating on me and that's what they wanted. TO get back at me. Well, I moved out of state for two years and then moved back and was working at the same place that becky's fiance andy worked. They had broken up 4 months earlier. But in getting to know andy, we started liking eachother. I hesitated for a long time about being with him but then decided to go out on a date. We had such a wonderful time that simce our first date, we haven't left eachother's side. I found the man I have been looking for my whole life. We are so in love. However, as soon a becky found out that "WE" were together, she started writing him emails trying to win him back. It has been 9 months and she hasn't stopped. I am so terrified that she is going to come between us that it is actaully hurting our relationship. I know that's exaclty what she wants and I'm falling right in. He's told her to leave us alone, stop e-mailing him and that he doesn't love her anymore. We have tried ignoring her, but just as soon as we begin to forget about it, she pops back into the picture. Can you please tell me how to get rid of her?

View related questions: broke up, engaged, fell in love, fiance, kissing, moved out

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A female reader, light_bearer +, writes (2 January 2006):

light_bearer agony auntI had a similar problem with an exs' ex. She left him when she found out he was depressed and only wanted to get back together with him when he was "better". I suggest not replying to the emails. If it gets really bad then change email addresses. Keep the emails incase you need to involve the police if he continues to harrass you. Im not shure about the US but in the Uk it is possible to bar fone numbers calling you, its less complacated than chaging you number.

If you dont want that you could try to sit down with her and your boyfriend to tell her that your a couple and wont stand for her trying to brake you up and that you are willing to go to great lengths to inshure she leaves you alone.

hope that helps.

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A female reader, happytochat Australia +, writes (2 January 2006):

Hi there,

Wow this must be very frustrating what becky is doing to you! First off, I just have to say, what she is doing is cruel and immature and sneaky and just plain wrong!

I know that since what happened with the first guy, that its making you very scared that she will steal Andy away again. But you know what I think? Andy seems to be like a much better guy. Firstly, he didnt cheat on Becky, like the first guy did, so i mean he was bound to cheat on you right. And secondly hes sticking up for you and your relationship. Its been going n for a while and it is really showing is commitment, isnt it. He seems to realy love you and I would try not to worry that he will leave you, yet having said that, I know her harrasing is anoying the hell out of you and making you very very very upset!

Andy has tried talking to her correct, and telling her to back off but she wont listen? Well I think maybe change emial addresses, phone numbers, what ever you have to do.

Also, now I don't know if the police can do anything, but it cant hurt to look into it. Perhaps call the police and ask them what they can do, if anything about her, as she what she is doing could probably be classed as harrasment.

Good luck and I hope it all works out for you!

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