A
female
age
41-50,
*lmostMarriedWoman
writes:Dear Cupid, I think I need some help. I am in a pretty good relationship - at least most of the time... When we are not arguing! We've been together for 12 years now... I am 28 now, we met when I was 16. He is 14 years older. That he is that much older is a fact that seldomly comes up in our all-day-life. He often acts and talks as if we were the same age. He is a very intelligent man and I look up to him because of that. But neverthelesse, I am a smart individual as well and my problem is that he rarely acknowledges things I do well. I think he wants to be right all the time. Here's my problem: I feel that he criticizes too often. He focuses on negative things, it depresses me. I feel like I cannot do anything right in his eyes. I am not good in cleaning, I am lazy and never wash my car and and and. He wants me to give 100% and doesnt give the same. My confidence has hit rock bottom. So much critisism, rarely a good word. What should I do?
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Fancy yourself as an agony aunt? Add your answer to this question! A
female
reader, Sweet-thing  +, writes (10 August 2009):
 I have a firm belief that a relationship should build you up, raise your spirits, be the wind beneath your wings. That's not to say that every day will be perfect, but overall you must decide if the good days outweigh the bad. In your case, it sounds like there are more bad. I know you've been with this man for many years, and no doubt he has robbed your of your self esteem and self worth which has kept you in a holding pattern, trapped in this vicius cycle. He is never going to change. He is insecure, he uses these mind games to keep you under his thumb and make himself feel superior. You must find the strength to get out.
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