Fancy yourself as an agony aunt? Add your answer to this question! A
female
reader, anonymous, writes (22 December 2011): he is not interested so forget it.
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female
reader, anonymous, writes (16 December 2011): sometimes you have to accept you cannot have control of everything.
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male
reader, anonymous, writes (15 December 2011): You was only short term use. He wasnt as keen as he acted so forget him. Its a bit degrading for you i know. You cannot make him like you if he doesnt.
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female
reader, anonymous, writes (15 December 2011): try offering him money perhaps.
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reader, anonymous, writes (11 December 2011): Dont get in touch again. He has used you enough already. He is not something to be proud of.
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female
reader, anonymous, writes (4 December 2011): he could be a cyber cheat without a job by day and a player at night.
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female
reader, anonymous, writes (4 December 2011): Hey,let me give you a tip. Guys like him need a challenge. You may have been easy for him,so he took it and ran.Guys like that are players.At your time of life youre learning late.
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female
reader, anonymous, writes (3 December 2011): he simply doesnt want to. you must leave him alone before he tells you something you might not like.
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reader, anonymous, writes (2 December 2011): theres loads of other guys out there. try someone else.
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female
reader, anonymous, writes (2 December 2011): Seeing as men spend half their life chasing skirt and he's got it on a plate, then i would guess he's got someone or he just simply doesnt like it without a challenge. I would stop phoning him before you get on his nerves.
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female
reader, anonymous, writes (2 December 2011): Hun, let me spell it out for you..HE DOES NOT WANT TO GO OUT WITH YOU!!!!
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female
reader, anonymous, writes (1 December 2011): Some men are all talk when they want sex. After that they dont want to know. If you give it him fast and easy,then he will not see you as true relationship material. As you aint bothered that he`s not interested, I suggest you stop harassing him. It wont make him want you. He may even call the police believing you could rape him.
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female
reader, Ciar  +, writes (1 December 2011):
 Rejecting someone isn't easy because most of us don't want to hurt anyone's feelings. Some have a more direct, yet tactful way of doing it, while others struggle. Saying 'I'm busy' without suggesting an alternate date has been used so often it's cliche and it sounds a bit callous.
IF this guy has lost interest in your romantically, he may be trying to give you a face saving exit and a chance to reject him instead.
Another reason is he has no way of knowing how you will respond. Not everyone handles setbacks with grace and he doesn't want a big scene.
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female
reader, anonymous, writes (30 November 2011): He has his life and i have mine and it is cool. I just didn't know how to read the text .. he doesn't owe me even an explanation if he does not want / cannot make it ..
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female
reader, anonymous, writes (30 November 2011): He gave it a try with you so you should be grateful you got a chance. No one likes being blown out, but the worst thing you can do is become obsessive over someone not wanting you. You feel offended but its not his fault for not seeing any potential in you. You need to let go.
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female
reader, anonymous, writes (30 November 2011): Have you thought of asking him to be a man? He could be the best one to answer your question. If there was no feeling of loss or being used then you wouldnt keep calling him to go out or making an issue that he wont. Just let it go.
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reader, anonymous, writes (29 November 2011): This is verified as being by the original poster of the questionOf course i see he is not interested at this point. We wnet out twice and he was interested, now he is not anymore. Fair enough. But until last week i couldn't know.
But my question is not if he is interested or not. And it is even more general than this particular situation. I do not understand why people cannot say just "sorry, i am busy" instead of repeating that they would looooveeeee to see you expecting you to get the hint. This is annoying. His lack of interest, it is not.
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female
reader, thinkb4  +, writes (29 November 2011):
I don`t get what you mean by giving him the benefit of the doubt. Men let you know when they are interested and nothing will stop them. He knows you want to meet him again and that is enough. If all he keeps doing is delaying,then there is no doubt to give the benefit of. He`s simply not as much into you as you wish he was. I would not put your life on a standstill for this guy. To be truthful,I would consider it an insult if he ever did get back to you in the future. A bit like he has nothing better to do. I would really consider moving on from this hope you have. It may never happen. Good luck.
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female
reader, anonymous, writes (29 November 2011): He cant be arsed. I would not waste your time waiting around for the chance of him unbusying himself for you. If he truly saw some girl he wanted he would do something about it. Men dont behave like that,they go for the kill when they find a woman attractive. However we say times are changing,one thing thats stayed the same is men are still on it when it comes to finding a partner or sex. He's hardly on it in your case. I would accept defeat. Hopefully you wasnt foolish enough to let him get his wicked way
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female
reader, anonymous, writes (29 November 2011): like someone has said. if he really wanted to see you he would do something to make it happen. he`s not exactly over enthusiastic. if he does or he doesn t, don t expect much. i am lucky enough not to have had this problem, as i m the one who does the blowing out. i will chase no man, never have or will. he may give you a booty call when he`s just as desperate.
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female
reader, delightful84  +, writes (29 November 2011):
Whatever he is playing at,its not looking good for you. Men who want to be with a specific woman don`t beat around the bush. They will let you know without any delay. A mans reasoning is to move in fast, just in case another man does before him. There is no such thing as too busy, he would have made time. It takes less than a minute to call or text. He cannot be bothered,so take it as a hint.
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reader, anonymous, writes (29 November 2011): You are so desperate to see him, so you call. He doesnt. He cant even set a date. What does that tell you? Dont let him see how desperate you are. It wont make him want a relationship or go out with you. Desperation is like sex on the first date,it will make them not want to be with you.
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male
reader, anonymous, writes (29 November 2011): If he wanted to see you he would call. it looks like you are the one who is doing all the chasing and he is fobbing you off. it may be he doesnt know how to let you down gently, or maybe he's keeping you on hold in the chance nothing else comes along. what does come clear is that he is not interested in anything developing.
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female
reader, anonymous, writes (29 November 2011): Was you asking this question last week? It looks like nothing will escalate and he really does not want a relationship with you. You would be better accepting it. Dont make a nuisance of yourself,move past it now.
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female
reader, Ciar +, writes (29 November 2011):
How long have you been seeing this guy? He was unavailable one week and already you're over-analysing his actions.
Leave the ball in his court and occupy yourself with other things. If he sets up a date and follows through, you know he's still interested. If not, you have your answer. As long as you're not waiting about on standby it won't effect you much whatever his intentions.
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male
reader, anonymous, writes (29 November 2011): If a man was keen to see you he would do something about it. Go back to the dating site and get another.
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age
41-50,
anonymous
writes: