A
female
age
41-50,
*ink1982
writes:well my boyfriend who i live w and has helped me so much w my 3 kids( not by him) on saturday found in my email that i had made a post on craigs list looking for a guy...but i didnt do it i was at work when it happened i tried 2 explain this 2 him and he came home on wednesday and sent me an email saying i lied before and he cant get pasted that so he cant be w me yet took only a few clothes w him and today my sister told me she did it cause she was mad at me i made her call my b/f and tell him he told her 2 f**** off...he came home on lunch took an outfit and nothing else and wont talk 2 me...i keep asking him 2 talk 2 me and he wont....when he says i lied before it was i called my kids dad and said i didnt even though it was in my phone and he dumped me for it we just got back together in january and he told me he should of give me another chance...i dont understand what is goin on/ any advice i will take please and thank u!
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at work, broke up, got back together Reply to this Question
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Fancy yourself as an agony aunt? Add your answer to this question! A
male
reader, rcn +, writes (17 April 2010):
 Good for you. I know change can be sometimes hard. Just remember, any change that moves you to control of your sense of self, has better value than to allow someone dictate how much of your sense of self you're allowed to carry, just to be with them. There is no love in that.
Take care.
A
female
reader, pink1982 +, writes (17 April 2010):
pink1982 is verified as being by the original poster of the questionthank u for the advice! im packing his things now!
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A
male
reader, rcn +, writes (17 April 2010):
You control what you do. He can decide where his life is to take him. Apparently he's made his choice to end the relationship with you, but he's rubbing in is as if he's playing a game. Coming by for an outfit, etc. Because you have kids witnessing this behavior, and learning from this of how to deal with people in relationships. It's important you do not allow the game playing to be present.
I'd back his things, have them at the door, and tell him that you respect his choice and that it's what he sees best for him, therefore, "here's your things, goodbye"
When people play manipulative games, it's up to you to not allow such games to happen to you. they can play and play, but its a game much better played by themselves without affecting others. Be firm. He said he can't be with you. Tell him, ok, so get your stuff out of here in full.
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