A
female
age
41-50,
anonymous
writes:being single forever,never had a boyfriend don,t know how to get one,any guy i fancy ,fancies someone else.the only guy i thought like me didn,t,always on my own hopeless with guys.30 years old,i hate dating websites,i am shy,quiet,i play hard to get becasue i don,t know how to deal with guys.i dont know how act around them.never got my first kiss,guys always admire other girls in front of me.i guess being fat,short,ugly does not help
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reader, anonymous, writes (11 March 2009): Hmmm... I think you're lacking confidence. I used to be very shy around guys, unable to make eye contact, blushing all the time, not talking, or worse, saying very silly things (because I was nervous). Then I tried being a bit more outgoing (IT WAS HARD!!!!)... it sparked some guys attention. It gave me a bit of confidence. However, every guy I liked never liked me back, and guys who seemed a bit interested, well, I didn't like them.
I was about to give up when one day when I least expected it (yes, it's true, it's not just cliche), I met this guy. We had lots in common, but I tried not falling for him because I thought he'd end up rejecting me anyway. But he didn't and now we've been together for almost three years.
The point is... it's not about age, being attractive or not. Sure, some men are shallow. But they're not worth it. Sometimes even pretty girls have bad luck. You have to put minimal effort in your appearance, you know, just the basics, having a nice hair cut, some lip gloss, a bit of make up. It's not about being model looking. It's not about weight. I've met some women I've envied, they're just gorgeous, they have amazing faces that I wish I had... and I was slimmer. They usually had great bodies too. Men usually don't care, especially men your age, they're typically more mature and appreciate more kinds of beauty. Trust me, we're our own worst critics AND enemies, 'cause we sabotage ourselves with the lack of confidence.
Just go out there, and try being more out going one step at a time. Try smiling more, making more eye contact, asking more questions. Don't play too much hard to get - it can work wonders sometimes, but too much of it and men who are interested in you actually believe that you're not into them.
Seriously hon... love is out there for you. You have to put yourself out there and let it come to you. I didn't look actively for it, he came to me.
A
female
reader, Anonny  +, writes (11 March 2009):
If you feel you are fat and ugly - try and alter your appearance a bit - even little things can boost your confidence - like going to the hairdressers, getting your nails done etc etc.
The slightest improvement will make you feel better!
Try to be a little more confident too if you can - a confident person is much more looked up to than someone who isn't - but then again - shyness can be cute!
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