A
female
age
41-50,
*rixieloo
writes:Ok heres the problem..a few months ago I got back with a boyfriend of a year that ended suddenly with no warning (he recently admitted it was coz he got scared). Sex was brilliant before we split and even when we were not together we were never really apart..if that makes sense..still seeing him and having sex..and brilliant it was too! Since we have got back together properly I'm finding it hard to even have sex..I just cant get lubricated enough. (I've bought some kyjelly today and looking forward to using it later) the urges are there just something is stopping me from 'working properly'. Maybe at 33 years of age I should be able to sort this out myself but just needed some advice from anyone who can relate. Thanks
View related questions:
got back together Reply to this Question
Share |
Fancy yourself as an agony aunt? Add your answer to this question! A
male
reader, rcn  +, writes (11 November 2010):
 Your attaching fear to sex. He was afraid, now you are afraid of history repeating itself. It's difficult to be with someone intimately, or open your emotions and allow deeper emotions, when in the back of your mind you're afraid he'd bail without warning again. These are mental blocks, designed to keep you from getting hurt, but in your case now are causing you these difficulties. Keep it in your mind that even though you wonder what will happen, you want good sex now and it's okay to open yourself up and accept the good sex. It's kind of like having to retrain yourself to remove sex as being part of that fear.
I hope this helps. Take care.
A
female
reader, aunt honesty  +, writes (11 November 2010):
 I guess the older we get the more 'dryer' our body becomes, its probably just a phase that you have reached were as your body and mind are in two different places, dont panic over it just take things as it comes. Just keep using plenty of lubrication and that should do the trick.
...............................
|
