A
female
age
36-40,
anonymous
writes:I have always been a very active person taking part in a variety of different actvities such as swimming, badminton, going to the gym etc. Ok so the problem is since I broke up with my boyfriend I have lost all motivation. Now all I do is sit at home eating, watching tv. I don't go out any more and all forms of exercise have gone out the window. I have probably put on about 2 stone (28lbs) in less a year which has left me feeling completly depressed. I really want to snap out of this and get my life back but I don't know how. All I think about is my ex and comfort eat to make myself feel better. Due to the weight I have put on, I do not feel confident to go out on dates but at the same time i have no motivation to do anything about it. I feel like I'm in a catch 22 situation and I am unsure how to get out of it- please help before I do any more damage
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male
reader, anonymous, writes (23 November 2008): I've in a strange slump myself....me and my ex broke up 4 months ago. We had a really wonderful relationship we were so into each other and all of our friends admired us. The problem began when we drank. I am a pretty calm collect person but sometimes when I drink I become like jeckyll and hyde. Little things make me very angry and react in the wrong way. She gave me a couple chances but one night she got really mad at me for being drunk and it ended up turning very sour. to make the story short she ended up breaking up with me and moving across town. Now my life has crumbled. She was everything to me and I ruined it when I was drunk. I don't know what to do either but I guess I have to keep living. It sucks because, probably like your ex, nobody compares to her. I have met others but it's not the same. I think what has to be done is you have to totally erase your ex from your mind. I had a chance to reconcile but I ruined it by being to pushy and texting her trying to win her back. This is harder than dealing with a death. It's easy to just stay in the slump and it's sort of comfortable but in the long run it will ruin your life. You have to convince yourself and know that there are others just as great and better. I feel so ashamed and sad because she loved me so much and I became a monster. Forgive yourself and move on.
A
reader, anonymous, writes (11 November 2008): I've been in the same sort of situation, and I know it's horrible. But you have to start getting out of the house. Even if it's just going to see a friend, or for a walk on your own. When you start getting out and seeing people who make you smile you will gradually start feeling better within yourself. It may take a while but you'll start being happier and feeling more confident. Soon you'll meet a new man who will take your mind completely off the ex. Once you've returned to your old self, you'll be able to walk past him without even noticing and he'll be the one who's missing out on something. Just be strong, and don't give up.
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