A
female
age
41-50,
anonymous
writes:Concern for many years. I have had a few casual boyfriends and a couple relationships in my day, so I am not new to this. There has been a nagging question that I want to have a male perspective on. All my male friends give me answers like "what is his problem?" or "that is lame!". Not what I really wanted. Anyway, 3 times in my love life, guys have ended it because they say they are getting to close to me, to attached to me or are falling in love with me. WTF? In all instances we had been casually dating for a couple of months or so. No pressure for a relationship, I did not want one, great sex, everyone said so, seeing each other 2 or 3 times a week, if that. What are guys thinking or saying when they do this? Is there better explination/translation? Thanks! Reply to this Question
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reader, anonymous, writes (12 November 2008): This is verified as being by the original poster of the questionThanks! That sheds more light on this for me. That is true that I go in not wanting a relationship, but after a couple/few months who really knows if that is what you want to do with that person? Why not just keep on with the hanging out, the companionship and sex instead of ending it? (I guess because then they look for the love of thier lives)
This has happened to me first when I was 18 and he was 21, 23 and he was 25 and more recently with a year age difference.
A
male
reader, metalsman  +, writes (12 November 2008):
 Hello there Anonymous,
48 yr old guy here...woo..how to answer this one!
It seems from what you've written that you might be spelling out to the guys that you're only into a casual relationship, and not wanting anything permanent or serious long term? I suspect that maybe these guys are initially entering into the same arrangement..but..after a while are falling for you and at the same time paying attention to your wishes of it not becoming a serious relationship.
It also strikes me that perhaps they (at some point) realise that maybe they themselves DO want a steady non-casual relationship and realise that you're not a potential candidate for that kind of committment?
Have you asked yourself that perhaps some guys are not comfortable with a girl who's only motivation is a short term arrangement, after all at 30-35 most guys/gals are thinking about some form of "settling down" relationship.
Hope this might throw some light on things for you
Best Regards
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