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anonymous
writes: My man and I have been together for the last 17 months we have split many times mainly over my drinking but the last time i went on a bender was around 6 wks ago when i found out he posted him and me on a few sexual sites without my knowledge he has since returned home and i am getting help for my drinking and depression and am also going to couples councilling on my own as he says he dont wanna go tonight i went to fetch him home he was totally worse for ware he has picked on me my kids and the dog its as if i have another person back and not the one who left he has started to behave differently towards me he says there is no one else and he says there never has been but he seems to think im low life now and he used to have respect now theres non ive done so much to change for him i dont no what else to do Reply to this Question |
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female
reader, Phoebe Halliwell +, writes (22 October 2006):
 Hey,
first of all, well done about doing something about your drinking and depression. It shows that you know you want to change and become a better, happier person - good for you!
Have you ever thought maybe someone has talked to him or something and he may feel, for want of better words, tied down? With kids and a woman by his side, it takes away what he can see as the "free life" of being single. As a man, what he can't see is the new and improved life he has now. Maybe that's why he posted you on those sexual sites, to make him feel that he's with a sexy, free woman with no responsibility? At the end of the day you don;t know what's going on in his head, all you can do is give him some space and try to bring some more fire/sparkle into your lives to make him see he really is blessed to have somone like you.
Hope this helped you,
Phoebe xxXxx
A
female
reader, helpful girl  +, writes (21 October 2006):
 well maybe no offence to you, but because you were drinking so heavily you had no time for him and he may of got fed up with being nice and respectfull when he got nothing other than a drunken woman back in retuen. so his thinking if i treat her mean i can keep her kean, but what you need to do is make sure he knows he cant treat you like this, tell him the next time he does anything disrespectfull,or nasty then you will not accept it and he can leave agin, also explain to him how your kids come first and you will not accept him pickin on them. if you choose to tell him to leave dont go on to drinking look at your children's faces and say to your self im doing this for them no body else, cus if your children see you drunk all the time how do you think they will end up when their older?! if he is not intrested in ralationship councilling then he isnt intrested in you nor the children so there for he isnt worth none of your times. also consider on a fresh start moveing house if you like,stop drinking, and new activitie for you and your children to do together also think about what job you want. you will find by doing them you will have no one dragging you down it will prevent your depression asw ell as stop you from drinking. but i do think youll have a better future with out him and with out the drink. the main thing in all of this are your children and you! thats your family and its your job to keep them happy.
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