A
male
age
30-35,
*uskyline
writes:please help me out! i need your advice!!im a 21 years old guy in a good shape and often times i catch some people checking me out. the problem is when i start talking to a girl i always think she is "the one meant to be". so im too nice too her, always try to talk to her even if i have nothing to say, most of the times i get this uncomfortable moment where im just pinching myself because either i don't know what to say or i get this awkward pausei think the main problem is that i just cant get comfortable with girls, i kind of get stressed out and just force myself to do the right thing (which never happens).i need help! how do i fix this?? how can i be as ease with girls as i am with my guy friends??? Reply to this Question
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Fancy yourself as an agony aunt? Add your answer to this question! A
male
reader, Odds +, writes (7 September 2010):
 The thought that you need to be liberated is this: There is *no such thing* as THE ONE. There are, instead, tens of thousands of girls out there who would make wonderful, compatible, faithful girlfriends, any one of whom would make you happy, and could be made happy in turn. All it takes is work.
So, remember when you talk to a girl, that until you've dated for a while, she is replaceable. Experiences with you make her important, but one you've talked to for an hour at a party still has no power over you.
She is like any other stranger - just a person. Worthy of respect, deserving of a little good-natured ribbing, but ultimately not someone you would trip yourself up over.
On the other hand, YOU have only one YOU. So don't compromise yourself, don't apologize when you don't mean it, and don't deny yourself any opportunity to meet someone. If you get shot down, so be it; she's the one missing out.
Lastly, learn to be comfortable with silence. Learn to ask questions that lead into stories, not "Yes" or "No." Tease her.
A
female
reader, Newbie31 +, writes (7 September 2010):
 Well, maybe start a door opening conversation. Ask her a question that the woman can lead off of. Never ask a yes or no question because this will just lead to an awkward silence. And with being stressed out just take a deep breath, understand that not everygirl you meet will be the one. Finding the one will take time and won't happen instantly in most cases.
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