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Should we work things out or does my wanting to see other people pretty much mean the end?

Tagged as: Troubled relationships<< Previous question   Next question >>
Question - (3 September 2011) 3 Answers - (Newest, 4 September 2011)
A female United States age 30-35, *azednconfused90 writes:

ok, so me and my ex (but we are supposed to be working on things) have been together for almost 4 yrs and have 2 yr old together.....but my thing is he has cheated 3 times and the 4th time he messed around it was not really cheating he broke up with me a wednesday messed with the girl by that sat or sun and then that tuesday was begin to work things out again almost like he broke up with me so he could mess around and say "well we were not together so I can do what I want."

my thing is our relationship has been hell with the cheating and him being homeless at one point and his drug addictions and being in and out of jail and not wanting to help me at home even though he didnt have a job and went off with friends instead....and now that I am almost sure I have been pushed to the limits and dont want to be with him any more and want to see other people he is claiming he will change and things will get better, so does me wanting to see other people mean I dont love him in a romantic way anymore and I should tell him no I dont want to work on things or should I push my feelings of wanting to possibly meet someone new aside and try working things out with him since we have already been together for so long and have a child together?

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A female reader, anonymous, writes (4 September 2011):

Sweetie I think you have said all you need to know that things are not going in the right direction with you and your bf.

Do yourself a favour....Tell him you love him, you still want to be friends, invite him to share the child with you. Let him know that you want to work things out eventually but need to see what else is out there. Dont go rushing into it with someone else either...work on yourself and bettering your life, make new friends, or even date but nothing serious. You can even tell him this is what you are going to do...

I went through the same thing with my sons father and turned out I found a much better man in the end. We did stay friends for a while but when I quit it with him for good he went a bit crazy...(drugs,sex,crime)He may never change and you will regret wasting so many years when you could have had better. Good luck...I hope things work out and get better in your life.

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A male reader, soon567 United States +, writes (3 September 2011):

What your mind is saying is you're ready to move on. Dont waste any more time on this guy because life is just too short. I bet there is a guy out there now wishing for the opportunity to meet someone like you, yet you would rather spend more time trying to make something work that is clearly over to everone. Let this go.

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A male reader, CaringGuy United Kingdom +, writes (3 September 2011):

I think the fact that he's cheated 4 times is enough for you to not go back to him.

There is a point where you have to stop allowing yourself to be abused, and this is the time for you.

The fact that you want to see other people is just your mind's way of reinforcing that you need to move on from him. That's the best thing you can do. You should take your time getting over what has happened, and make sure that you never go through this again.

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