A
male
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anonymous
writes:I'm having a disagreement with my wife. If a guy approaches her while she's out with girlfriends, obviously he's interested. If she tells him she's married and not to get the wrong idea, is it proper for her to socialize with him after making her status clear? I thought not because I know what the guy is hoping for. She says it doesn't matter because she's in charge. I don't believe the guy to be sincere after he's been informally rejected. I'm interested to get some opinions. Can a guy go from being interested in a woman to just a "nice guy" after he finds out she's unavailable, or as I see it, he's still after the same thing but with a different stategy. Am I being too shallow?Thanks Reply to this Question
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male
reader, kakaman  +, writes (14 December 2005):
Man, I have had this same problem too with my girlfriend and her male friends. I get suspicious and it ends up with her being mad at me. I finally talked to my girlfriend about it and she agreed that most of the guys she used to hang around with kept her around as a "Plan B". I made it clear to her how guys think and what they want out of these "friendships".
You can't demand she not socialize with anyone because it may make her want to socialize with this guy. Personally, I would ask her to please stop doing it. The situation sounds awkward and kind of fishy. Try turning the tables and asking her how she would feel if you hung out with women who were interested in you.
A
reader, anonymous, writes (14 December 2005): I understand your feelings on this and no, you aren't being shallow. You understand how men think! If you trust your wife fully, this should not be a problem in your marriage. She did the right thing. She told him she was married and he should've back off-I respect that. But if she continues to socialize with him and he's still making his 'advances & intentions' clear, he's out of line and needs to be dropped and ignored.
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A
female
reader, anonymous, writes (14 December 2005): He's probably after the same thing, but it sounds like she isn't. Maybe she just finds him interesting and wants to keep him around for a while. It's a really bad idea if there's any chance she could develop a crush on him. Otherwise, maybe it could be okay.
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