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female
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anonymous
writes: My finacee and I have been together for almost 4 years. We have a two year old child. He hasn't touched me sexually since I got pregnant. I don't know what to do. Other than that aspect we have the perfect relationship. I absolutely know that he isn't cheating on me. I am really frustrated. How do I restart our sexual relationship? Reply to this Question
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reader, anonymous, writes (14 December 2005): This is serious and his problem will take lots of support. You have not mentioned marriage and family counseling. I think you both owe it to your child to get yourselves into couple therapy, and if needed, he may need individual counseling.
It's important to find out "why" he has such an aversion to sex. Sexual intimacy is a very important component of a loving, committed relationship. You plan on marrying-are you up to living in a marriage with no physical intimacy? And no more children will be brought into this union, because if his problem isn't taken care of...you now have a glimpse into your future with him. This is so unfair to you-he has a problem. Please have it looked into with an assessment for depression and appropriate medical intervention. Then you both can realistically plan for the future. Good luck.
A
female
reader, anonymous, writes (14 December 2005): Try leaving the baby with a friend or family member and going away together for a long weekend. You'll have to ease your way back into things, so don't expect too much all at once. The first night, you both may be so tired that all you want to do is sleep. But with a whole weekend, feeling rested and uninterrupted, you might find it a good time to get things going again.
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A
male
reader, anonymous, writes (14 December 2005):
This is *very* common. He now sees you in a different role, mother etc, and it is throwing him off.
Try starting with something non-vaginal.
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