A
female
age
36-40,
anonymous
writes:Hi all, please kindly advise or give your opinion here. This is the story : I have been together with my man for 8 yrs and have been engaged for 3 years. We have 2 little angels together. Now problem is the 1 night in Nov06 i caught this girl in his house and i called him to the scene to sort the situation. I was very hurt and could not believe my eyes. He sent the girl off and spent the night with me (believe me the last thing i wanted was him in the same area as me, so u can imagine)Neways we talked and i forgave him and three months later the girl advised she was pregnant(Feb07)In June2007 He moved to my city and we lived together. In Sep07 this cheat baby was born. and in Dec07 He finished paying off the lobola for me(African Tradition where a boy pays lobola before marrying a girl)Also in Dec I had our second born. Things have been well so far until we now moved to his city and i work here now. Thing is i see this other girl every morning and every afternoon on my way to and from work and i just can't shake the fear that whenever they get a chance they will sleep together, even thaugh she knows we r about to get married i know she wont mind being the "other woman"(my man has once made her run when i caught them walking together, this was before she had a kid)Ok to cut long stori short- I feel they might do it again even thaugh i have not suspected anything so far but i am just scared. He has stoped attending the church cos i asked him to since its the same church that this girl attends. Also i cant shake the feeling that she got pregnant intentionally to compete with me and hold on to him. He does not speak of this baby much and the baby has not visited once simply cos i dont want this baby and my inlaws dont want this baby too. This girl sometimes sees us together and they both act like they are strangers. Am i being paranoid? Should i trust him to be loyal and faithfull to me?
View related questions:
engaged Reply to this Question
Share |
Fancy yourself as an agony aunt? Add your answer to this question! A
female
reader, tinkerbell29  +, writes (15 October 2007):
 honey,
i know it must hurt you but you need to realise that this man has cheated on you and will most definately do it again, especially if he knows you will forgive him. People can only treat you how you let them treat you. Marriage will not change him, and you said he got this 'other woman' pregnant,not only is he cheating on you, he is also having unprotected sex. This man is putting you at risk of catching a sexually transmitted disease!! You obviously love him, but are you willing to marry a man who obviously doesn't respect you.
Please take care of yourself and your children xx
A
female
reader, anonymous, writes (10 October 2007): No, you shouldn't trust him. From what you've said he acts like he doesn't know her around you..he's had her in your home, he makes her run off when you see them together..he got her pregnant. I wouldn't have even stayed the 1st time I heard he was unfaithful. But Im in America & I don't know if that is common for men to do in Africa.
...............................
A
reader, anonymous, writes (10 October 2007): You SHOULD trust him to be loyal and faithful however he has previously proven to you that he cant be. You are bound to think about what has happened and if it will happen again, I have to say if he has cheated before you are married and this women is still local, I would tend to think he is capable of doing it in marriage too. Sorry.
...............................
|
