A
male
age
41-50,
anonymous
writes:Hi. Difficult situation at work. One of my mates from the after work soccer team is dating a rather attractive women who works in my department. He works around the other side of the building. When her boss is away I increasingly see her spending time (15 minutes here, 30 minutes there) talking to another guy behind closed doors. There is physical distance between them 'cos he sits behind his desk and she stands the whole time, not too far from the door - which is closed. They never sit around a computer and she never carries any notes. Their calendar reveals no meetings scheduled. His office looks out into the open plan area. She has a reputation for liking a chat - but over time this situation, if left unchecked could develop into something more. The guy in question is a little reclusive and if not in his office is having a cigarette break by himself. He must fancy her. I know I would in his situation. The other day her boyfriend dropped by her desk to pick her up but she still had not finished her work, having to work a little bit late to catch up. This appears to be a trickle-down effect from spending too much time in that other guy's office. Should I tell my soccer mate about this situation or just let the matter unfold? Perhaps she does not stand right next to him in his office 'cos he may stink of smoke! Overall, though, from his perspective I'd see her presence in his office as an indicator of interest if the situation progresses unchecked - wouldn't you? They definitely enjoy flirting with each other.
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female
reader, anonymous, writes (23 March 2009): I think you shouldn't waste the company's money and do the job you are paid to do. You sound like one of those old women who sit on the porch drinking iced tea scanning the neighborhood for things to gossip about.If you like drama, rent some movies or something. Or create a life for yourself and you won't have the time or energy to even care about what other people in an office setting are up to- You'll be too busy with your own relationships.
A
reader, anonymous, writes (23 March 2009): Keep your nose out of their business. They are just talking for goodness sake!!!
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A
female
reader, Emilysanswers  +, writes (23 March 2009):
She's talking to another man... TALKING!!!???!?!?!?!?!
Well this is definitely the proof you need that she's a dirty slut.
For God's sake, just because you fancy her doesn't mean everyone does.
She may be talking to him about anything. Have you considered he may be having marriage problems and she's giving him a woman's viewpoint? Maybe he's dying of lung cancer and she's trying to convince him to stop smoking and go on a cruise rather than feeling sorry for himself during his last month. Maybe she a secret ex smoker and wants to steal some of his second hand nicotine. It could be something completely innocent.
Rather than running to your mate like he's your mummy and tattling on her, you could just mention to her casually that she's spending a lot of time in that guy's office and you just worry that rumours will start.
She'll probably explain it to you then and it will all be innocent.
You come across with this question as very jealous and I'm sure you don't mean to and are just looking out for your mate. But you shouldn't assume that just because she is pretty, it means she automatically can't resist any man who has a smoking problem.
Good Luck!! xx
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