A
male
age
41-50,
*hought_I_KnewSomething
writes:Recently, I came home from work and my wife and I had dinner. We have an 8 month old daughter. As we were making dinner, she said the cat knocked over a bottle of wine, and spilled a bunch of wine everywhere. At dinner, she told me she was feeling some bad post-partum depression, and that she felt embarrassed that I was "doing so well," and she wasn't "able to hold it together." She was tipsy. She begain crying hysterically out of the blue. I felt terrible, and held her and comforted her, and told her that we're both new parents and we're both going through changes. Eventually, we settled things down, and she felt better. I felt really bad for her and wanted to help comfort her as much as possible. She said she would talk to a therapist about the depression. The next morning, I got up and was emptying out the garbage. I remembered what she said about the wine, so I was being careful not to spill towel-soaked wine everywhere. But I never saw any towel-soaked wine. I looked in all the garbages, and there was no trace of wine.Should I be worried about her lying about how much she drank? Should I tell her my discovery? Thank you. Reply to this Question
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reader, anonymous, writes (11 November 2011): I say trust your gut instinct. This is your Wife. You lived with her x years. You know her better than we do. Something wasn't jiving when you took the garbage out. You have a concern. You must be accessing past memories or occurances that have lead you to come here and post. You have more clues than we do. Your instinct is something is not right, and you have a valid concern.She told you she needs help.Get her some counselling to help her through the post partum as meds usually take 6-12 weeks to take effect so she will need support UNTIL the meds kick in. You have all the naturual, loving, supportive instincts a loving Husband has and I say, go with them.Hope All Works Out- I believe it will because Your Wife is Lucky to Have You as her Best Friend and Husband.
A
female
reader, chigirl  +, writes (11 November 2011):
 No, don't say anything. Keep it in memory though. Maintain control over the situation, and monitor it to the best of your abilities, but don't say a word. Do an evaluation of the problem if you find she's been drinking more than this bottle of wine.
It is odd that she would lie about it, which could be a sign that something is indeed going on. However, if this was the first incident then be careful. Saying anything at this point will sound like an accusation and that you don't believe in her or trust her. You'll have to wait for more suspicious things and proof of alcohol consumption before you jump the gun.
It could be she cleaned up the wine with something else. It could be the wine was spilled elsewhere and she mopped it up? Could be she used something else but the paper towels? Could be she threw the paper towels in a box or something else that was in the trash? Just too many possibilities.
Keep an eye on her drinking, but don't say anything about it just yet. Instead focus on the depression and get her help at the doctors.
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A
female
reader, Sweet-thing  +, writes (11 November 2011):
 No, just keep on eye on the liquor cabinet and you'll know if she has a problem with alcohol. Just remember if she knows you're watching her or monitoring her intake she'll become very sneaky about it. Once you have concrete proof that she has a drinking problem, you may need to offer to go with her to AAA. Good luck.
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A
female
reader, charliesdevil73 +, writes (11 November 2011):
 I wouldn't be concerned unless it happens again. Just make sure she really does see a doctor. She might not even have to go to a therapist. Sometimes regular doctors can diagnose and prescribe meds for post partum since it is fairly common. The good thing is that she openly told you how she is feeling so she obviously wants help in feeling better. I would ask her if she wants you to go with when she does go see a doctor. It might help her healing process more to see you will share her pain and her healing.
Good luck to you both.
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reader, anonymous, writes (11 November 2011): Its a concern as that would be termed binge drinking which is a form of alcoholism.
If she comes from a childhood home where one or both parents drank and were alcoholics; she has a greater chance of being one as well.
Alcoholics turn to alcohol because life becomes overwhelming for them and it helps them to 'run/hide' from the world and their inner turmoil, pain, hurt, or past trauma. Thus creating more pain, trauma. Its a very self destructive cyle that repeats. Even if she doesn't drink for days, weeks, months, she binges again and starts the process all over again.
I say going to counselling with her would be of help and a Family Doctor to address the post partum depression ASAP.
Hope it all works out.
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A
female
reader, tennisstar88 +, writes (11 November 2011):
 Honestly, I would let it go.
She downed a bottle of wine because she's experiencing some post-partum depression..not the wisest choice, but I wouldn't exactly be holding an intervention for her to go to rehab. Unfortunately, she's just having a tough time and turned to the alcohol to drink it all away. It happens. As long as she's not an alcoholic, then there's nothing to be concerned about.
Instead, make sure you follow-up on her going to see a therapist for her depression. Talking helps, depression medication may even help too.
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