A
male
age
36-40,
anonymous
writes:Should I send flowers to my ex? We have been broken up for one month, after she broke up with me. I have maintained NC, save the two times that she initiated contact with me. I am still interested in getting back together with her. She is currently out of the country, and will be for the next two weeks. I am thinking of sending her a bouquet of her favorite flowers when she returns home. Potential Pros:1. She realizes she misses me while out of the country, and the flowers are a good thing. 2. The flowers give me a sense of closure, in that "I sent the flowers--time to move on."Potential Cons:1. The flowers make me look needy, or something else unattractive.2. The flowers push the issue of our relationship prematurely. What does everyone think?
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Fancy yourself as an agony aunt? Add your answer to this question! A
male
reader, Frank B Kermit  +, writes (24 July 2007):
 If what you wrote is true, then consider that buying flowers is still just an extension of your neediness (that is how it will be interpreted.
Next, I understand that the vacation is not "romantic", but when people are away from home, many actions "do not count", in all circumstances...Europe, 3rd world or not... whether it is with travel buddies, or the locals, there is energy and chemistry in new experiences in new lands.
DATE OTHER WOMEN. She needs to see that you are not needy, and that other women are into you. THAT will rekindle her attraction for you.
-Frank B Kermit
A
male
reader, anonymous, writes (21 July 2007): To clarify a few things based on the responses thus far:She is not on a romantic trip, she is in a third world country earning credit for school with her classmates.She essentially ended it because she was confused about what, if anything that she wanted. I have since heard from a mutual friend that it isn't that she does not like, but that she felt that our relationship was not going anywhere. Based upon that, I feel like she must have lost the attraction she felt for me. I believe this happened for a variety of reasons, but most likely because: she went to europe for three weeks with a (girl) friend, and it was her first time out of the country. I was at home, in between school and work, and really missed her while she was gone. Thus, while she was busy out of the country, I was kind of pining over her. As a result, I think I looked needy when she came back. Secondly, I told her I loved her after she had been back for a few weeks, and I think this overwhelmed her to a certain extent. Thank you for the replies thus far.
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A
female
reader, anonymous, writes (21 July 2007): Don't send them. Call and welcome her back instead. If the conversation goes well, proceed to make face to face contact. If you do that, it may lead to reconciliation. When that occurs, send flowers -- after say, the first kiss. Tell her how glad you are to be back together.
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A
female
reader, flower girl  +, writes (21 July 2007):
 Did she give you a reason as to why she was ending it with you?
Has anything changed that would make her want you back.
You could try sending the flowers with a little note to say that you have missed her and you would like to get together for a chat sometime.
If you hear nothing back from her then you should just move on.
Take care.xx.
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A
male
reader, Frank B Kermit +, writes (21 July 2007):
Do NOT send flowers.
You can not buy her attention. Unless you want her to ONLY want you for the presents you now make her think, that you will continuely buy for her.
Money on presents does not prove your love, loyality, etc...it just proves that you will spend money to get what you want. Bad precident.
The best thing you can do is contact her, and TALK to her, perferable in person.
Just becuase she will know you want her back (through flowers), does not mean it will make her want you back. It will just be a nice ego boost for her. If she had any vacation romance, then she already GOT the ego boost she needed.
Date other women while she is away. I am SURE she is dating other men on her romantic vacation. She needs to know that other girls are into you, in order to make her feel attraction for you. Not flowers.
-Frank B Kermit
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A
female
reader, L.O.V.E. +, writes (21 July 2007):
do it she will love it and she will no that you want her
back.
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